"My God," he said. "That feels so good." His hands grabbed her breasts and he ran his thumbs over her nipples.
She began to rise again, drawing out the move.
Abruptly, a look of pure horror crossed his face.
"Shit," he said. He grasped her hips and yanked her off him. "Condom!"
For one beat, Amanda felt nothing but shock as she lay flung to the side, like an unwanted doll. He hadn't been half as far gone in lust as she'd thought. Even now, he was reaching into a nightstand drawer.
In the next moment, she collected her thoughts. She should be grateful that he wanted to be careful. Even though it wasn't necessary. "I'm on the pill," she said.
He paid no attention to her words. Instead, he tore open a condom. Within seconds, he was back inside her, with him on top this time.
Amanda cried out as pleasure warred with reality.
Her body joined eagerly with his, reaching for the best angle, pressing against his solid hardness. But his actions had driven a spike of reality into her head, reminding her that what they were doing had no meaning beyond the superficial quest for erotic satisfaction.
Clearly, he didn't trust her about being on the pill. In her mind, or maybe in her heart, something hurt. As much as she told herself to enjoy the moment, it was hard to recapture the magic.
Feeling she'd gone too far to stop now, she made no effort to halt the proceedings. Logan noticed the change in her mood quickly. He slowed, and stopped moving, but didn't withdraw.
"I'm sorry," he said gruffly. "I didn't mean to destroy the mood."
Despite herself, she twitched around him where he'd invaded her. "It's all right."
He tipped up her chin so he could look down into her face. "I don't ever want to have children," he said. His voice was fierce.
Amanda shivered. Did he think she was trying to trick him?
"I told you I was on the pill," she said quietly. "I wouldn't lie to you about something so important."
He nodded. "I'm a careful man."
Not careful enough, a little voice whispered in her ear. If she hadn't been on the pill, she could have gotten pregnant even without an unprotected ejaculation.
He pulled out.
Pleasure shivered over her. That drag of his heated flesh felt good.
She realized he was removing the condom, and she sat up, feeling awkward. "I guess it's my turn to apologize."
He dropped the condom in a trash can and pulled on his pants. "No problem."
She couldn't doubt his determination on the subject of children. His eyes were pools of pain in a tired, strained face. But he wouldn't take even the simple pleasure she could give him, if it would draw him into a potential emotional connection.
Something inside Amanda hurt badly. But she still had a choice to make. Whatever pain had afflicted him tonight was still present. Would she try to alleviate it? Or would she be the kind of person who nursed her own grievances, and pretended she didn't see where she could help?
Not that she was totally noble. Maybe her humming body craved him more than it worried about the heartache that waited for her.
She held out her hand.
Chapter 22
Logan took Mandy's hand, knowing he was a fool, but helpless to reject the comfort she offered. He'd had a terrible day. Grief and hopelessness had flooded every cell of his psyche. Surely he was entitled to a few minutes of the forgetfulness he'd find in Mandy's body.
But he couldn't hurt her further. She'd gotten a peek at the barrenness in his soul. Still, she offered herself. He was overwhelmed by the selflessness of her gesture.
She was not one to give her body carelessly, or randomly. He'd seen the affection in her eyes when she looked at him. He knew it wouldn't take much nurturing on his part for that affection to blossom into something more significant. But he also knew himself. He couldn't give her the emotion all women wanted in return for sharing their bodies.
So he would have to be as considerate as possible in taking advantage of her generosity.
He knelt beside her on the bed, and she flung her arms around his neck.
He removed them.
"Let me do this, Mandy." He pressed his lips to hers, gently, holding back when he only wanted to plunder her.
She kissed him back sweetly, letting him take the lead. He thrust into her mouth, needing that much at least. She opened wider, welcoming him. For a fraction of a