On Dublin Street The Bonus Material - Samantha Young Page 0,31

with longing and confusion.

Confusion.

He wasn’t confused.

He knew exactly what he wanted.

And the fact that Jo even had to think about it meant she didn’t feel about him the way he felt about her.

Hurt, furious, he let it all show in one awful look before he forced her to move aside as he unlocked the door and threw it open.

Cam strode out into the party, a part of him hating Jo a little for making him feel something he’d never felt in his entire life, and then refusing to admit she felt it too.

For money.

Jesus fuck.

One thing was for certain though, he needed to get out of this party and he needed to do it a free man. He searched the room, looking for Becca. When he found her, guilt stalked his every step toward her. She would hate him for this. She’d forever remember him as the shitty bastard who broke up with her at her birthday party but Cam couldn’t stay here and when he left he needed to know he left, freeing both him and Becca from the lie that was their relationship.

Maybe it would wake Jo up.

He cursed to himself at the thought, realizing even as he’d stormed away from Johanna, he hadn’t given up.

As much as his blood boiled with anger, frustration and hurt, he knew deep down he couldn’t give up on her.

No.

And he never would.

She’d seeped into his blood and dug herself in deep.

One day Johanna Walker would be his. He’d get what he wanted. And Jo, she’d finally get to be who she really was. And who she was, who she really was, was fucking magnificent. Someone just had to show her that.

That someone would be him.

10

Johanna - The Cut Prologue

DOWN LONDON ROAD

Paisley, Glasgow

There is a big glass window between him and me. I don’t really know how I can feel so much for him when there’s loads of space between us but I do. I am sure of that. His name is Cole. He’s kind of funny-looking but then all the other babies around him are kind of funny-looking too. I don’t care if Cole’s funny-looking. I love him.

Love. I press my nose against the glass. I see that word everywhere. In Mrs. Mitchell’s class on her ‘Feelings Board’; on my TV programs, in the books I get from the library when mum can be bothered taking me. Love. I know I love my mum. She’s not around a lot and sometimes when she is she says mean things, but she’s my mum. When she hugs me I feel better.

I don’t love my dad. I think I might hate my dad but last time I said that my mum got really mad at me. But I don’t love him. The days he decides to show up he’s always shoving me out the way, or worse hitting me, or pulling me by the hair. He does the same to mum. She lets him. And she lets him have sex with her. I told my friend Natasha that I heard these weird noises coming from their bedroom and she said that was them having sex. She told me what sex is. It sounds gross.

Really gross. But Natasha said it made Cole. And whatever I feel about my dad, I feel the opposite about Cole. I love him. I really love him. I think I really know what that word means now.

He’s got no hair and he’s got huge eyes. Tiny hands. Tiny feet. Tiny. It scares me how tiny he is. I’m the tallest girl in my class but Natasha’s the smallest and she always gets hurt more easily than I do because people think they can push her around. The nurse told me Cole came out of mum too early but that he’s going to be okay. Mum’s sleeping. She told me to go see Cole while she slept. Dad’s still not here yet even though the nurse said she’d phoned him.

I don’t want dad to turn up anyway. I don’t want him near Cole. I don’t want his big hands slapping Cole or punching him in the stomach like he did to me last time. When Cole is watching cartoons and dad wants to switch the channel I’ll take Cole away before dad can use his fist to make the point that the TV is his. Only time he doesn’t lift his hands to me is when Uncle Mick is around. He’s not really my uncle. But he’s nice to me and