I liked to think I knew Akil fairly well, even if my life was a grain of sand on the beach of his existence. And seeing him standing by the windows, his back to me, something felt off. When he’d first brought me to Boston, he’d stood like that, studying the city outside, as though measuring it for a good fit. Now he looked out over a squabbling contingent of demons, and it felt like a backward step, almost as though he’d withdrawn himself from the fight. “What’s going on?”
“I have lived thousands of years and made just as many mistakes, but I do not intend for you to be one of them.” He turned, and I caught the low flicker of dying embers in his eyes before he blinked and extinguished them. “I am an eternal demon, the Prince of Greed, but I am something else, something I do not understand. In this form, I feel. You believe me a liar. You think I am incapable of emotion. Before I brought you to Boston, I would have agreed with you. When I first met you and manipulated events to sequester you away from your owner, I did so for Asmodeus because I owed him a service. From that day, when I saw fire in your soul the likes of which I’d never witnessed, you changed me.” He laughed softly, but it was a bitter sound. “You changed a constant. You altered chaos. It is impossible. I denied what I felt for so long. I attempted to forget you when you left me, but every day away from you only seemed to deepen my obsession.” He paused, and the look in his eyes wasn’t friendly. I’d seen that look only a handful of times, most recently when he’d threatened to tear my demon out of me. He glared, motionless but for the swirl of power in his eyes. “There are events coming that I have no control over.” He paused and moistened his lips, dropping his head as though considering his next words carefully.
I swallowed and willed my racing heart to slow. This was not Akil. He was fire: indifferent, uncaring, ruthless, hungry, selfish. The being standing before me was conflicted, confused, angry, and hurting. If I didn’t know better, I’d think him almost human.
“I cannot protect you from yourself. Nor can I protect you from what is to come. I fear this...” He closed his eyes and locked his jaw. The constant background touch of his element withdrew as though he pulled it around him, holding it close. When he opened his eyes again, they blazed amber. “I fear this night will change everything, and for the first time in my infinite existence, I am powerless to stop it, to stop you.”
He was afraid. And if he was afraid, the rest of us should be terrified. I pinned a shallow smile onto my face and felt it twitch, trying to flee. “I won’t fail.”
He smiled and shook his head. “I know. That is the problem.”
“I’m not going to go loco. I feel ready. I can do this. You’re inside me. You must feel it too?” He lifted his eyes, and damn me, if he didn’t look beaten already. “Akil, this isn’t you. You’re the Prince of Greed, a Prince of Hell, a First. You think you’d stand there as Mammon and tell me all this?”
“This isn’t coming from Mammon.”
“Wait, what?” Were Akil and Mammon separate? I’d believed Mammon was Akil, and vice-versa. Akil had told me his human vessel was a trap. Now I wondered who had become trapped? I lifted my hands. This was all too much. Maybe it was the soul-lock making him doubt himself. I had some of him in me, so maybe he had some of my humanity in him. Whatever it was, we’d figure it out when the countdown to Armageddon clock wasn’t ticking over. “You’re just off, is all. Maybe P-C-Thirty-Four had more of an effect on you than we thought.”
“Perhaps.” Which was a no. “I will kill Adam Harper the next time I see him, if for no other reason than his disrespect.”
A fist bump seemed grossly inappropriate. I wasn’t even sure Akil would recognize the universal sign of mutual celebration. He’d probably duck and sucker-punch me. Plus, I didn’t want to get any closer for fear he’d tell me loved me or something equally disturbing.
I angled toward the door, considering my escape. “You’re just…unsettled.”