Dreaming of His Snowed In Kiss - Jessie Gussman Page 0,52
it again. “You don’t know how that rips the rug out from underneath you. Everything you thought about your life, gone. And then, to land in a foster home like the one I did. I was angry. I needed to get away. It was easy to go over to the other side.” Shoving a hand in his pocket, he looked up at the snow. No answers there, just something to focus his eyes on. “I don’t want to go through that again. Not that you can lose your parents twice. But when you care for someone, when you care for a lot of someones—family, a wife, kids, you sacrifice and work for them. There’s no guarantee that they’re not going to walk out. There’s no guarantee they’re going to live. There aren’t any guarantees. And it’s just safer to not even go there.”
“That’s exactly right. And I’ve already been through it, why would I put myself through that again?”
He nodded, and they turned toward each other, looking at each other like they’d never seen the other one before.
She’d never met someone who understood so completely what she’d gone through. How she felt.
“Most of the time when I tell people I don’t want kids, and I don’t want to get married, they tell me that I’m crazy. They think I don’t know what I really want, that I’ll change my mind.”
“They don’t really understand,” he said softly.
Somehow, they’d moved closer to each other. Although she couldn’t say whether it was because she’d taken a step or he had.
“Right. They see me smiling, they see me happy. They see me playing with children and enjoying it. Honestly, they see my true love for kids.”
“They probably look at you and see someone who would make a perfect wife and an amazing mother.”
“Maybe. I guess.”
“They don’t understand what’s happened in here.” He tapped his chest.
“Right. And how scared I am to have it happen again.”
He nodded, the hand that had tapped his chest reaching out and pushing her hair back, his fingers trailing through it and settling on the slope of her shoulder, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw.
“They see a beautiful woman who has a lot to offer someone. A woman who deserves to be loved, and cherished, and protected. Who doesn’t deserve to go through that kind of pain again.”
He was saying all the right words, but his tone had changed, containing some kind of warm undertone that made her want to close her eyes and lean into his palm.
Her hand came up and slid over his, feeling the strong cords in his wrist, the warmth of his skin, and the scratch of the hair on his arm. “You understand, because you’ve been through it too.”
“That’s right. People have said similar things about me.”
“You’re the most eligible bachelor in church. I’ve heard it. They point you out as a hard worker, dependable, and of course, you’re a little dark and a little scary. For some reason, that’s so attractive to women.”
He lowered his head a bit, and she lifted hers.
“Is it attractive to you?”
In another man, that question might have seemed like he was fishing for a compliment or insecure. But with West, it didn’t seem that way.
Rather, it felt like he was asking out of concern for her, in consideration for how she felt. Regardless, it loosened her lips and made her want to be completely honest.
“Maybe not someone else. But in you, yes. Maybe I saw the pain underneath. Because when I looked at you, I always felt like you understood. Which is a weird thing to feel, but it’s true.” Her fingers slid up his forearm, lightly, and she breathed deep of the scent that made her feel safe and somehow excited at the same time.
“Same. I could tease you because I knew you understood. I picked on you, because we felt like opposites, but somehow, there was always that underlying knowledge that you knew.”
Somehow, his arm had slid around her waist, and she took the last step to close the distance between them.
Their breath mingled as snowflakes fell softly beside them, and the night air was still.
“I want to kiss you.”
His words caused the heat that had been curling in her stomach to tighten sharply before spreading out in warm ribbons.
There was no hesitation in her answer.
“I want that too.”
West didn’t say any more, and she didn’t need him to.
His head descended, her arms wrapped around his neck, and she pressed against him as his lips