“I got a really bad temper,” he admitted quietly, these words filled to the brim with shame and even fear that I knew to my soul he should not feel.
And thus, I held on, with hands and eyes, and listened.
“You gotta know that before either of us make moves to lock each other in. I wasn’t like that before. I can’t say I never got mad. But I never got mad in a way it was like I was outside myself, watching me lose it, and I had no control over how bad it got. I’ve been in fights. With guys. It used to get physical. And I lost my mind on Nikki a couple of times, just shouting, but she knew about it so she took it and it killed me, knowing she accepted that about me and I couldn’t control it. I found coping mechanisms. I haven’t totally lost it in a while, but I feel it sometimes, boiling under the surface. And I’ve researched it so I know it’s not something that will ever just go away, unless I medicate, and my job, I can’t do that. So…that’s what…” he drew in a big breath and finished, “you gotta know.”
“All right,” I said softly.
“It gets bad, Evie, I gotta stress that.”
These words made something inside me move, a weird fluttery feeling.
It was around my heart. A tightness there I never really felt because I’d lived with it my whole life.
But right then, in a colossal shift to the world as I knew it, it just…
Loosened.
“You heard my mom talk to me the way she did last night.”
“Babe—”
I pressed in at his head.
“Listen to me, Danny, please?”
He shut his mouth.
“She’s never seen what you’ve seen, and she’s like that. And I’ve been taking it my whole life, knowing there’s no reason. I just did it because she’s my mom and I’m supposed to love her. There’s a reason why Nikki understood. You’re a good guy, Danny. Now it’s your turn to trust me, because I won’t lose track of that.”
I was then still holding his head and he was still in my face, but way in my space.
He’d wrapped one arm around me and pulled me to his body, his other hand at the back of my head, and we were making out again.
It was getting heavy, what with my special somewhere pressed against his rock-hard abs, when, yet again, his buds spoiled the fun.
“This is not getting me pancakes,” Auggie called.
Mag broke the kiss only to mutter against my lips, “I’m gonna kill these fuckin’ guys.”
I smiled into his eyes.
The anger slid out of his.
He then kissed my forehead and let me go, turning to Auggie and saying, “Newsflash, asshole. The reason they’re good is you gotta let the batter rest.”
“This dude is Julia Child with a Bronze Star,” Boone noted. “His pancakes are good but he’s a virtuoso at the grill. He can even make pizza on that fucker.”
It was good to know Mag could cook, but…
“Bronze Star?” I asked Mag.
“That’s like, eightieth-date territory, baby,” he muttered.
“Right,” I whispered.
He turned his head from the batter and grinned at me before he leaned in and touched his lips to mine.
“So, Evie,” Axl said, sliding the cup of coffee he’d poured me earlier on the counter by my hip. “Just in case you got time, I brought my laptop. It’s acting up.”
“I’ll have a look,” I told him before I took a sip of coffee.
“She’s not free tech support, dickhead,” Mag growled.
“Yes, I am,” I decreed.
“See,” Axl jerked a thumb at me. “She is.”
“Is it in your car?” I asked.
Axl nodded.
“Go down and get it,” I ordered. “I’ll have a look while Danny’s cooking.”
“On it,” he replied and took off.
“Babe,” Mag called.
I gave him my eyes.
“Seriously” was all he said.
“It’s okay. Promise” was how I replied.
He blew out a sigh.
My bag at the other end of the counter rang.
Auggie grabbed it and brought it to me.
It was Charlie.
I had a callout.
I heard the sizzle of butter hitting a warm griddle, the promise of goodness.
And I felt my heart beat.
Free.
And there you go.
Life goes on.
And sometimes, I was now learning, it was good.
Chapter Twelve
The Dream Team
Evie
So, she’s got nothin’, and we’re on a break, and she’s at Target, buying Legos.”
Auggie was on the phone.
With Mag.
Sharing about our day.
“She then makes me drive her to the goddamn county lockup, not so she can lay into that asswipe brother of hers. So, she can lay those Legos on Bobbie. You know,