because her new man was coming over in an hour, and she didn’t want him to see the carpet and think less of her.”
Delmare scoffed. “I never forgot that. I was the reason men thought less of her, because it isn’t rational for a woman with a toddler to have a messy house, right?”
The harsh laugh that came from Delmare’s lips hardly seemed real. “Come to think of it, I was never there when she brought her flings around— I was always either at a sleepover, or being taken by the sitter somewhere. If someone couldn’t watch me, she’d lock me in my room and tell me I had to stay very quiet. She’d give me brand-new paint sets to keep me preoccupied, you know, because I loved art. I thought it was because she loved me. Then I put two and two together and figured out she was just hiding me. She knew shifters wouldn’t want her if they found out she had a kid with somebody else.”
Delmare’s vulnerable tone changed into the tough, hard exterior she usually gave off. “Do you see why I can’t be with Stefan? It’s not going to work.”
“Delmare, you are not your mother,” I said softly. “And even though Stefan’s a dragon, he’s nothing like your dad.”
“But I love art so much. I would die for my work,” she said. “I can’t imagine who I would be if I couldn’t create.” She gestured to her paintings, her sculptures and her poems. “I want to be an artist. A real one. And I can’t be if a man is getting in the way.”
“Why can’t you have both?” I suggested.
“My mother gave up everything to try to make a man love her. And she never succeeded. I don’t want to become some desperate woman clinging to a man’s approval to convince myself I’m worth existing. I need to keep my identity,” Delmare said. “I don’t need a man to make me happy.”
“Of course you don’t. You can be happy all on your own. But I think you and Stefan could have a beautiful life,” I said. “You can’t sacrifice your future because your mother’s a stupid broad.”
“You don’t understand. I want to travel, see the world! I want my work to hang in museums. I want to give speeches, have books published, be a sorceress of great power.” Her voice took on a dreamy quality as she spoke. “A man would just hold me back from that. He’d put restrictions on me. Tell me what I could and couldn’t do. I couldn’t bear to lose my independence like that.”
“You can do all those things with Stefan by your side,” I said gently. “He wouldn’t hold you back from your dreams. He’d support you every step of the way. Don’t give up on him because other people hurt you. He really does love you.”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid to be in a relationship because I can’t lose my identity,” Delmare insisted. “I can’t afford to be in love.”
I paused for a moment before I said, “But Delmare, you already are.”
Delmare bit her lip. She turned to the sketch of the black dragon on the wall. She didn’t deny my claim, but still— there was so much fear in her I could feel it from across the room.
“And what would happen if we did get together? If we got married, and I gave him a daughter instead of a son?” Delmare asked.
“Stefan wouldn’t give a shit,” I said firmly. “He’s not that type of guy. He’d be thrilled the child came from you. You’re giving up something you really want because you’re too afraid to see where it could lead. And I don’t want that to happen to you, Delmare. I want you to be happy.”
Her face was torn— like she wanted to believe me, but deep down, couldn’t manage it. “Look, Emma, I get what you’re trying to do. And I appreciate your honesty, because you’re my friend. I just... don’t see how I could have both. It’s either Stefan or my art. I have to pick one or the other. And right now, if I have to choose... it’s going to be my art, because that’s the only consistent thing that’s ever been there. My mom didn’t tuck me into bed at night. The stories in my head did. As much as I want to be with Stefan, I have to follow my dreams.”
My stomach plummeted to the floor. I’d been holding out hope