Alexei’s face twisted. He paused before he said, “All I can feel from the leshane is death. He wants power.”
Emma paled. Kiara shifted against Alexei’s side. “I can feel it, too,” she added. “Though not as strongly as Alexei. These two parts are battling inside you, Ethan.”
“I know. It’s been devastating,” I said. “I still have control, for now.”
I swallowed past the large lump in my throat. “But I won’t for long.”
Alexei looked at Kiara. “Please tell me you have something for demon possession, Kiara.”
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe... though it’s a long shot.” She frowned.
“Why don’t we go to the high priestesses? They could probably cast out the demon,” Theo offered.
“No,” I said sharply. “I refuse.”
“Refuse? Are you insane?” Theo asked. “This is your life!”
“It’ll cause another scandal. I’ve brought so much shame upon my royal house, upon my family... upon my mate.” My head dropped, and I chanced a small glance at Emma. She was wide-eyed with shock. “If we go to the high priestesses, it’ll be all over the tabloids by midnight. My name and anyone who associates with me will be humiliated. There’s no guarantee they’ll get this thing out. Then my loved ones will be shamed and shunned even further. Only weak Arcanea allow themselves to be possessed.”
“That’s bullshit!” Emma exploded for the first time that day. She stormed at me. “You’re not weak, Ethan! You let your guard down for two seconds, and a monster took advantage! That isn’t weakness.”
“Pardon me, but the Circle won’t see it that way. Neither will the people,” I said quietly. “Emma, we might not be together, but in the eyes of Arcanean law, we’re still mated. What falls on me falls on you. And I refuse to cause anymore pain and embarrassment to you than I already have.”
Emma’s cheeks burned. “I’m not embarrassed of you for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You don’t get it, Em. People will say you failed to protect your shifter. That you’re an incompetent sorceress who didn’t realize he was possessed,” Kiara pleaded. “Losing the Contest was strike one. Now that this has happened, you’ll have lost your last chance to prove yourself as a Marked. The fae will run you out of town.”
“Let them!” Emma shouted. “I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, so long as Ethan is okay!”
The surrounding silence was deafening. “Would the rest of you mind giving Emma and I some privacy?”
I didn’t have to ask twice. The room cleared out, as if our friends wanted to escape the suffocating atmosphere that was closing in around Emma and I. Once they were gone, Emma paced around the room— her steps landed heavily upon the hardwood.
Being alone with her— it was agonizing. The beating of my broken heart made me want to rip it out. Gods, I needed to get this over with.
“What kind of sick society discourages people from getting help?” Emma snarled. “I don’t care if I’m outcasted—“
“You can’t be. You’re the Worldweaver. You have a responsibility to Malovia and its people. Something that goes beyond me,” I said. “If you’re chased out of the country, you can’t attend Arcanea University, and you can’t find the stones. What will you do then?”
Emma stopped pacing. She chewed on her lip. “But don’t you see? It wasn’t you who did all those horrible things last semester. You’re not the one who stabbed me. It was the demon.”
My stomach clenched in guilt, thinking of the way the Phantom had stabbed the White Rose on the rooftop of the palace the night of the masquerade. “It was me, Emma,” I said gently. “The leshane made the suggestion, put the idea in my head, but it was I who made the final choice. I was the one who killed those cultists without mercy, not him. The demon can make me angry, influence my emotions, but he can’t force me to act upon them. The guilt falls on me alone.”
Emma’s teeth gnashed. “You have to hold on. You have to fight this, cling to your beliefs, so we can cast this demon out!”
“You don’t understand. I’m not sure what my beliefs are anymore,” I stated. “The leshane has twisted them so harshly it’s difficult to know what’s right and what’s wrong. I can no longer tell where my opinion ends and his begins.”
“That can’t be true. You have morals. Beliefs in things like patriotism, and freedom.”