Draco A Medieval Scottish Roma - Jayne Castel Page 0,69

ye?”

“He was … I would’ve been quite a sight to behold.” Draco’s gaze ensnared Gavina’s then. “And there you have it … my ‘secret’. Nessa was right. I have stared into the abyss.”

He released her and closed one of his hands into a fist, which he then pressed against his heart. “Ever since, I’ve been numb here … empty. The only time I feel alive is when I’m killing, or when my opponent’s blade finds it mark and agony takes me.”

Gavina swallowed. “What about when we lay together?” It embarrassed her to ask the question—yet she’d seen the passion on his face, felt the need in his body as he’d taken her. “Did ye feel dead inside then too?”

He stilled, his head inclining as he studied her. “I’ve lain with many women over the years. My body knows how to seek pleasure, even if my soul is arid.”

Heat flushed across Gavina’s cheeks, and she dropped her gaze. So, it hadn’t meant anything to him. An ache rose in her throat.

“Gavina?” He caught her gently under her chin and raised it so that she met his eye once more. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” she murmured, bitterness spiraling up within her. “I’m a fool … that’s all.”

“How so?”

Gavina drew in a deep breath. “I only wed ye to help my friends, Draco Vulcan … but those two times we lay together were …” She broke off there, embarrassed and wishing she were anywhere but here. He’d been open with her, had revealed his deepest, darkest secret, yet she struggled to admit this. Tensing, she forced herself to finish the sentence. “They were … special.”

She lapsed into silence then, feeling foolish.

“They were,” he agreed softly. Draco let go of her chin then, the back of his hand tenderly brushing her cheek. “You’ve been lonely, haven’t you?”

A lump rose in her throat, and she nodded.

“Why?”

She tried to raise a smile, but failed. “I was brought up to do my duty … and I did my best. But in the end, I failed. My husband scorned me, and my own brother has now betrayed me. I wanted to build peace between the Irvines and the De Keiths, but from the first night of my union with David De Keith, I realized that I never would.”

Draco’s mouth twisted, even as his hand continued to gently stroke her cheek. His touch made Gavina tremble, as it always had. “De Keith was a prize idiot,” he murmured. “Few men are fortunate enough to find a wife like you.”

Gavina huffed a brittle laugh. “There’s no need to try and save my feelings, Draco. Ye don’t even like me.”

He stilled at that, his gaze searching hers. “Like is too bland a word to describe how I feel about you,” he murmured. “When we first met, you fascinated me … but I told myself that you were proud and disdainful.” His mouth twisted. “A bitter man will do anything to protect himself.”

His words made Gavina pause before answering. The pair of them had clashed from the beginning, but their relationship reached a low point when she’d watched Draco slay that young English soldier. Draco and his band had saved her, Elizabeth, and Aila’s lives, yet the memory of how the soldier had begged for his life still haunted her. “That morning … on the hills south of Dunnottar,” she began hesitantly. “Ye were unnecessarily brutal.”

“I did that lad a mercy by killing him,” Draco replied. He’d known exactly what she was referring to. “How do you think he’d have fared as a Scottish prisoner? Strung up by his neck on the walls … or left to rot in the dungeon until time or disease took him.”

Gavina stiffened. “But ye were so cold.”

His gaze seized hers, gleaming in the moonlight. “And now you know why.”

Gavina stared up at him. Aye, she did.

Sighing, she sat back on her heels, her gaze sweeping around the deserted beach. It was lovely out here, surrounded by the rhythmic rumble of surf and the whispering wind.

And as the moments drew out, longing rose within Gavina. She shifted her attention back to Draco, to find him watching her. Wordlessly, she reached out, her fingers tracing his stubbled cheek. “Dawn is many hours away,” she whispered, gathering her strength yet again. “We have time.”

He inclined his head, his gaze boring into her.

Gavina swallowed and pressed on before her courage failed her. “Lie with me again, Draco,” she whispered. “Just for one night … cast the world and all yer worries