Doubt (Caroline Auden #1) - C. E. Tobisman Page 0,57

to explain. After my dad got busted, tech became like . . . kryptonite to me. But then, once I’d pushed past the fear and gotten back into the game, the stuff I was doing as a software engineer wasn’t interesting. Coding someone else’s designs wasn’t all that challenging or creative. But when I’d think about what was exciting and creative, it was the stuff that got me into trouble, and the whole thing would start again . . .”

Caroline trailed off.

“But it all turned out okay for your dad, right?” Eddie prodded.

“It could have been worse,” Caroline allowed. “He was able to prove he wasn’t working with the cyberthieves—that it was just a fluke that we’d ended up helping them.”

“That was lucky that the police believed him.”

“It wasn’t luck. It was a good lawyer.” Caroline sent a spark of gratitude toward her father’s criminal defense attorney. With his patchy beard and ill-fitting suit, he hadn’t looked like he’d be able to do anything to prevent the weight of the law from crushing Caroline’s family. But he had. He’d known exactly which levers to pull to save William Auden from jail. Watching the attorney work, Caroline had realized that law wasn’t so different from tech. Both followed a set of rules that, once mastered, opened infinite possibilities, depending on the user.

“When my dad finished his probation, he became a cybersecurity consultant,” Caroline continued. “He’s still one, except now he lives back east with his new wife.”

“Why’d you stay with software engineering for so long if you didn’t like it?” Eddie asked.

“My dad left my mom a couple years after the hacking incident. His departure didn’t have anything to do with it—their marriage had its . . . issues. But he pretty much vanished from my life when he moved out. He started dating Lily, the woman he eventually married. When they got together, he got wrapped up with her . . . you know how that goes.”

Eddie nodded his understanding.

“In a way, software engineering was my way of trying to connect with him.” Caroline paused, remembering the distant conversations she’d shared with her dad about her work at the start-up. Those stilted interactions were better than nothing, she’d told herself at the time. Looking back, she wasn’t sure. Working in technology had done nothing to dissipate the awkwardness that had settled between them.

“When my dad moved back east with Lily, I was done trying to connect with him. I felt like I could finally—”

“—do whatever you wanted,” Eddie finished for her. “It was also a way of giving your dad the middle finger for bailing on you, right?”

There was truth in his words, Caroline admitted silently to herself.

“I understand why my parents split up,” she said, “but my dad didn’t have to bail on me, too. When he moved back east, I gave up. I stopped trying to connect.”

“What about now?” Eddie asked. “Are you close with your dad?”

“No, and I don’t think we’ll ever be again. He calls me sometimes, but I just can’t talk to him. Not about anything real, anyway. It’s like he wants forgiveness for leaving. Absolution.”

Eddie studied Caroline’s face quietly for a long moment.

“I’m sure he misses you,” Eddie said finally. “And if you don’t mind me being honest, it sounds to me like you miss him, too.”

“Maybe,” Caroline allowed.

Shaking off the heaviness in the room, Caroline smiled.

“What about you? What’s your story?” She glanced at his expensive watch and gold cuff links. “Charmed career? Biggest struggle was deciding between the BMW and the Porsche?”

Caroline meant it as a joke, but Eddie’s eyes sparked with sudden emotion.

“You have no idea,” he said, his voice dropping to a lower register.

“I’m sorry,” Caroline said, alarmed by the abrupt change in mood.

“No, I’m sorry,” Eddie said. “My family’s from a piss-poor town outside Oaxaca.”

“But you were born here?”

“Yeah, my mama came across the border when she was pregnant with me. Don’t ask me how. She cleaned hotel rooms for pennies until she had me. Then she left me with her older brother and went back home. Uncle Antonio gave me a place to live, but he made it clear he had enough kids of his own to take care of.” Eddie shook his head. “No one’s ever given me a thing. I’ve had to make my own breaks—which wasn’t too easy when you’re the smarty-pants kid with glasses in a rough border town.”

Caroline’s gaze traveled to the scar at Eddie’s neck. Perhaps it was a remnant of an