The Doctor Who Has No Chance - Victoria Quinn Page 0,6

can’t stand seeing you like this.” She addressed the elephant in the room, unable to be easygoing about the whole thing.

“That makes two of us, sis.”

She shook her head as she looked at me.

“Why do you think I don’t want you to get your heart broken? It fucking sucks. No, you don’t just bounce back from it like nothing happened. It takes time, a really long time.”

“I just don’t understand why you’re letting an old relationship ruin a new one. Sicily is the best.”

“I know.” I closed my eyes and inhaled a painful breath. “Trust me, I know. I miss her…a lot.”

“Then I don’t understand…”

“Because I’m literally empty inside, Daisy. I don’t want to be in a relationship again. I don’t want to ever feel anything again. And I sure as fuck never want to get married again.” I felt so much anger toward Catherine, unresolved rage. If I saw her in the flesh, I honestly didn’t know what I would do. I’d scream in her face until the veins in my neck popped. “I’m just…so angry, you know. I gave Catherine everything, literally everything, and then she does this to me. I loved her, really loved her, and I just can’t see myself feeling that way ever again. I’m not even going to try.”

“You’re not over her…” She released a sigh of disappointment.

I dropped my gaze, ashamed. “If you really love someone, you always love them. And if you ever stop, then you never loved them in the first place. I know I shouldn’t give a fuck about her after what she did to me, but it still hurts, and it should hurt. It’s only been a year and change. Who loves someone new within a year of a divorce? After being happily married? Nobody—unless they were never really happy in the first place. Well, I was happy. I was in that relationship fully, one hundred percent, would do anything for her. And then…” I shook my head. “I just haven’t been able to move on. If she cheated on me or betrayed me, I would have just let it go. But that’s not what happened, you know? This really traumatic and unusual circumstance hit us hard, and I can’t help but wonder if we’d still be together with a baby right now if that hadn’t happened. Yes, you can say that if Allen broke us, then we were never really strong in the first place, but I believe that nothing else would have broken us. We wouldn’t have been unfaithful. We wouldn’t have drifted apart. I believe that we would have stayed together forever if that had never happened. So how can anyone really expect me to be over that? How is she over it?”

Daisy listened without judgment, her eyes soft.

“Sicily is…” I shook my head, unable to describe her. “Perfect in every goddamn way. She fits me in a way I never thought anyone would fit me. We have this connection that’s been there since the moment we met. But…I’m just not available to really appreciate it. The timing is wrong. I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. And she doesn’t deserve that.”

Daisy stayed quiet.

“It was the right decision. I just wish I never got involved with her in the first place.”

“How are you guys at work?”

“It’s like nothing happened. She’s the consummate professional…as always.” She’d expressed her feelings and shed her tears, but then she picked herself up and carried on. I admired her so much for it, because I wished I could do the same.

“As much as I love Sicily, you’re right. The timing isn’t right, and you aren’t ready. I never should have pressured you into it. I think she was the right person, just at the wrong time. You were only together for a couple weeks, not enough time for serious feelings to form. So while it’s shitty, it’s not the end of the world. Maybe when you’re in a better place, you could try again.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know when or if that will ever happen, and she shouldn’t wait around for me. She deserves a stellar guy…someone better than me.”

I was on the couch with my feet on the coffee table, mindlessly staring at the TV as the bluish glow filled the living room of my apartment. I was anxious to have more than one beer, but it would be irresponsible to do so, so I didn’t. But I wished I could take something to