Dixie Under Siege (A Warrior's Passion #2) - Natasza Waters Page 0,18
and her eyes narrowed. “What are you thinking about?”
He cleared his throat. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”
She got to her feet and stopped beside his chair, laying a warm hand on his shoulder. “Don’t stay up too late.”
He’d make sure the house was secure first before getting a few winks. “Turn the light off on your way out.” Tomorrow would be a long day. He had SpecOp business on the base, then the meeting with Manchester. “I’m going to pick up a home monitoring system for you. Didn’t have time today.”
“Good idea. Then you can sleep in your own bed instead of my cheap mattress.”
Cheap mattress or not, he wasn’t leaving her alone. “Dix, I’ll install the system, but I’m staying here until we figure this guy out.”
“Josh, that’s not necessary and I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
A slight quiver in her voice egged him on. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure you can keep your hands to yourself.”
Dix snorted. “I was wrong. You’re still cocky.”
A grin tightened his lips. “I’m usually at Base Command by six in the morning, but I’ll wait until you’re up. We’ll leave together.”
She shut off the living room lights but paused at the entry to the hallway. “By the sounds of it, my loss was the country’s gain. I can only imagine how many lives you saved.”
He kept his gaze on the couch she’d vacated. “Saved a lot and sacrificed my own.”
“It’s not a sacrifice if being a SEAL is what you wanted to do with your life.”
He resisted revealing any misgivings. “Night, Dix.”
“Hey, um… Earlier, you asked if I had any regrets, and I brushed you off.”
Her somber tone warned an oncoming truth he didn’t want to hear. “Just making conversation,” he said briskly.
After Dix, caring deeply about someone never crossed his path again. Truth was, Josh had been relieved when Gesem turned down his offer to join him on the west coast. He hadn’t asked her to move in with him, just relocate. Gesem may have given a different answer if he’d put a ring on her finger. Their relationship had been comfortable, but he couldn’t rally up an emotion with any depth.
“Whether you want to hear this or not, I’m getting it off my chest. You’re a big, bad SEAL. I’m sure you can handle it.” Dix exhaled. “I never imagined I’d see you again or get the chance to say I’m sorry. The night I told you I didn’t want to get married, I was too proud and foolish to admit the truth.”
Josh remained silent for a long moment. Did he really want to hear this? “I figured it out on my own, Dix. Marriage was our folks’ decision, not ours.”
What he didn’t voice was that you had to love someone in order to spend the rest of your life with them. His vision of the future had been clear. Him and Dixie. She obviously hadn’t felt the same way as him.
She retraced her steps to look him in the eyes. “I could blame our parents. Guess I did for a while, but that’s not why I stopped our wedding. I didn’t want to lose myself in your shadow, becoming nothing but a wife.” She paused. “Later that night, I wanted to apologize. Thought I’d wait.” A half-hearted laugh accompanied a shrug of her shoulder. “My sister, Sasha, told me the next day you’d left.”
This was why he hadn’t wanted to hear her explanation. If she’d changed her mind, he’d have to accept that the biggest mistake he’d ever made was to leave home like he had.
He glanced away when he asked, “Did you change your mind?”
Dixie crossed her arms. “You were my best friend, Josh. It never mattered to me that I was a failure in my parents’ eyes because I had you to lean on. After Dad caught us in the barn, I became a dirty smear on their pious existence.” She paused for a second, then cleared her throat. “Mom blamed me for your quick departure. When Dad found out you’d left, he said no good man wants to marry a whore. I didn’t really care that my parents called me names. I trusted you. It hurt to finally accept our relationship was a lie. Wasn’t real.” She forked her hands together and smiled. “But it helped as well, because I grew up that day.”
“Dix, I knew you’d never come back after college.”
“You were the only reason I’d have come home. Believe me, being shit-scared that