am no longer his daughter. The latter is more likely, and more painful.
“Anyone who can and will fire a gun,” I say, “and isn’t afraid of heights.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
ERUDITE AND DAUNTLESS forces are concentrated in the Abnegation sector of the city, so as long as we run away from the Abnegation sector, we are less likely to encounter difficulty.
I didn’t get to decide who is coming with me. Caleb was the obvious choice, since he knows the most about the Erudite plan. Marcus insisted that he go, despite my protests, because he is good with computers. And my father acted like his place was assumed from the beginning.
I watch the others run in the opposite direction—toward safety, toward Amity—for a few seconds, and then I turn away, toward the city, toward the war. We stand next to the railroad tracks, which will carry us into danger.
“What time is it?” I ask Caleb.
He checks his watch. “Three twelve.”
“Should be here any second,” I say.
“Will it stop?” he asks.
I shake my head. “It goes slowly through the city. We’ll run next to the car for a few feet and then climb inside.”
Jumping on trains seems easy to me now, natural. It won’t be as easy for the rest of them, but we can’t stop now. I look over my left shoulder and see the headlights burning gold against the gray buildings and roads. I bounce on the balls of my feet as the lights grow larger and larger, and then the front of the train glides past me, and I start jogging. When I see an open car, I pick up my pace to keep stride with it and grab the handle on the left, swinging myself inside.
Caleb jumps, landing hard and rolling on his side to get in, and he helps Marcus. My father lands on his stomach, pulling his legs in behind him. They move away from the doorway, but I stand on the edge with one hand on a handle, watching the city pass.
If I were Jeanine, I would send the majority of Dauntless soldiers to the Dauntless entrance above the Pit, outside the glass building. It would be smarter to go in the back entrance, the one that requires jumping off a building.
“I assume you now regret choosing Dauntless,” Marcus says.
I am surprised my father didn’t ask that question, but he, like me, is watching the city. The train passes the Erudite compound, which is dark now. It looks peaceful from a distance, and inside those walls, it probably is peaceful. Far removed from the conflict and the reality of what they have done.
I shake my head.
“Not even after your faction’s leaders decided to join in a plot to overthrow the government?” Marcus spits.
“There were some things I needed to learn.”
“How to be brave?” my father says quietly.
“How to be selfless,” I say. “Often they’re the same thing.”
“Is that why you got Abnegation’s symbol tattooed on your shoulder?” Caleb asks. I am almost sure that I see a smile in my father’s eyes.
I smile faintly back and nod. “And Dauntless on the other.”
The glass building above the Pit reflects sunlight into my eyes. I stand, holding the handle next to the door for balance. Almost there.
“When I tell you to jump,” I say, “you jump, as far as you can.”
“Onto a roof,” I add. Seeing the stunned look on his face, I say, “That’s why they call it a test of bravery.”
Half of bravery is perspective. The first time I did this, it was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Now, preparing to jump off a moving train is nothing, because I have done more difficult things in the past few weeks than most people will in a lifetime. And yet none of it compares to what I am about to do in the Dauntless compound. If I survive, I will undoubtedly go on to do far more difficult things than even that, like live without a faction, something I never imagined possible.
“Dad, you go,” I say, stepping back so he can stand by the edge. If he and Marcus go first, I can time it so they have to jump the shortest distance. Hopefully Caleb and I can jump far enough to make it, because we’re younger. It’s a chance I have to take.
The train tracks curve, and when they line up with the edge of the roof, I shout, “Jump!”