A Dishonorable Knight - By Morrison, Michelle Page 0,64

before you were so haughty, treating everyone around you—us--like they were servants. You seemed to think that anyone who was not important in the king's court was simply not important." When Elena remained quiet, he hastily continued. "But since we left Eyri Keep, you escaped the relative comfort of an abbey to reach us, risked your life to warn us of danger, shared your food uncomplainingly, and lied through your teeth to protect me from those English soldiers. Would you care to enlighten me as to why, or how, you have changed so much?"

Clearly stalling for time, Elena said, "If you think that abbey at Dinas Mawddwy was comfortable, you must have been raised in a barn. I doubt they had a down pillow in the whole musty building."

Gareth stared at her patiently. He knew she would find it difficult to answer for such a change of character. He knew he would be hard pressed to explain why he had treated her so poorly when she first travelled with them. Even now, he could hear the disdain in her voice when he had asked her to dance that long ago night in Middleham. But the bitterness of that encounter was overlaid with the sweetness of her kisses, the softness of her skin as he had caressed it…

"At court," she began hesitantly, interrupting his thoughts, "nothing ever happens. I mean really happens." She paused clearly searching for words. "We change clothes a lot. We whisper about newcomers, we gossip about those we don't like, we try to become the king or queen's favorite and we--everyone, men and women--try to marry to better our position at court. There is no substance to what we do or how we live. We do not build anything, we only tear down. We do not help the king run the country. He has a small group of advisors who do that and the rest of us simply exist. I think ‘tis why, when you take us out of that world, we treat you like you are nothing--to make ourselves seem important, seem necessary.

"And then, the more I was away from that world, the more time I spent in your world, the more I realized that what you were doing really counted. Whether Henry Tudor be wrong or right for England and Wales is beside the point. At least you are doing something to affect your world. Even those people we first stayed with--Gruffydd and Catrin--they make things, they produce wool, food--"

"And many, many children," Gareth cut in, trying to lighten her expression.

Elena smiled, but the flow of words did not lessen. "They don't live off the work of other people, they support themselves. And Enid. No one has ever been nice to me like she was. I know your father told her to wait on me, but she went beyond that. I felt like she was my friend."

"I'm sure she thinks the same of you."

"And finally at the abbey, when I heard that old crow telling the English soldiers to go after you, and I decided to ride and warn you, I felt alive! I felt that I was finally doing something that would mean something!" Elena looked at her hands as if embarrassed at what she had just said. "I--I mean, I knew it wasn't much, but it felt important. Really important, not pretend important." Her words exhausted, Elena fidgeted with the cuff of her sleeve, refusing to meet his eyes.

For himself, Gareth was overwhelmed. Elena had never spoken in such depth about her feelings. Neither had she ever spoken critically of her life at court. But what affected him most was her glowing commendation that he was working for a better country. Realizing that the silence between them had continued, and that she might be feeling awkward at having revealed so much, he quickly said, "In the first place, what you did was more than 'not much.' You saved three lives and since mine was one of those three, I think what you did was very important." He paused and smoothed the hair off her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. "I also apologize for not being more understanding in those first few days. I should have realized that it would take a while for you to get used to sleeping on the ground and bathing in a stream."

"Mistake me not!" Elena said, some of her old spunk returning, "I'm still not used to waking up with bugs in my chemise, and I would