Dirty Thoughts - Megan Erickson Page 0,59

“I do care.”

“I know.”

“Do you want to talk about the . . . ” Cal gestured toward his own neck, all the while thinking to himself, Please say no, please say no.

Asher ducked his head. “I mean, if you want, but I talked to Jenna about it.”

Thank fuck for Jenna. Thank fuck. “So . . . ”

“So I’m okay . . . um . . . not talking about it again. Right now.”

The awkwardness. Cal needed a shower. “Okay, that’s fine. But I’m here if you change your mind.”

Asher smiled. “Thanks a lot.” His phone rang, the corresponding vibration rattling the table. His cheeks colored when he glanced at the display. “I . . . um . . . this is Julian.”

Cal waved him on, and Asher hopped up, answering the phone with an excited hello as he raced up the stairs.

Cal picked up Asher’s bowl and placed it in the dishwasher. When he turned around, Jenna was watching him.

He leaned against the counter and crossed his ankles. “Thanks for talking to him.”

“I didn’t mind. He’s just lonely. He left his friends when his parents moved, and then he came here. And he found a cute guy who’s into him. I think . . . a hickey isn’t such a big deal. And that’s all it was, Cal.”

He kept his eyes on his boots. “I know. I started thinking about all it leads to. More worried about his heart than his body, I guess.”

A chair scraped. Footsteps. Jenna’s shadow fell in front of him. “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t look at her, not while he said this. “I worry about him getting attached too soon and too . . . ” He scrambled for the word, wishing he’d just kept his mouth shut. “Permanently.”

She stepped closer now, enough that he could smell the sun on her skin. “Like us?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Like us.”

She didn’t speak for a long time, so long that he thought she might have left. But then her voice came softly. “You think we’re attached permanently?”

He raised his head then, even though it took monumental effort. “If we aren’t, then it shouldn’t be this hard to be around you, knowing I can’t have you.”

Her lips parted, and a small sound escaped. “That was your decision not to have me, Cal. I was willing to give this a shot. To try.”

This time, when he closed his eyes, he kept them closed. And he didn’t open them until he heard his front door open and close. Until he heard Jenna start her car and back out of his driveway.

And even then, when he opened his eyes, he didn’t really see anything. All his reasons for keeping Jenna away were crumbling. And all the reasons for keeping her remained, like an unshakeable foundation.

For the first time, Cal wasn’t sure which he preferred.

Chapter Nineteen

JENNA SLIPPED HER feet out of her heels under the table, groaning as the pressure eased from her cramped toes.

Delilah raised her eyebrows at her from the other side of the table. “You going to take your bra off in here too? I mean, make yourself at home.”

Jenna balled up a napkin and tossed it at her. “Shut it. I had a long day. You?”

“Long, but I don’t feel the need to undress in the restaurant.”

The waiter’s appearance saved Jenna from having to think of a witty comeback. He took their drink orders, and Jenna flipped open the menu. Delilah had picked her up after work for a dinner date, which was a deviation of Jenna’s regular routine of somehow finding her way to Cal’s house every night this week.

Not that she intended to go there, but Asher would call her, or he and Cal would stop by her place on their way running errands. Asher would talk excitedly while Cal maintained a stoic expression.

Well, he tried to be stoic, but Jenna caught his eyes lingering on her when he didn’t think she was looking. He wasn’t as sneaky as he thought. The whole thing messed with her head because in her heart, there was still hope—just a little bit of hope—that this Cal would take a chance and give them a try.

Stupid hope.

“So let me get this straight,” Delilah said after they ordered their food. Today, Delilah wore her hair in a tight bun, her eyeliner in a perfect wingtip, and her lips rosy red. “The Paytons have a half-brother they never knew about?”

“That’s pretty much it.”

Delilah whistled. “That’s going to go around the Tory