Dirty Thoughts - Megan Erickson Page 0,35
Ever meeting him? Letting him into the house tonight? He guessed it didn’t really matter. He should probably go now—gather what self-respect he had and get on his motorcycle and return to where he came from.
Jenna shook her head and took a deep breath, gathering herself in front of his eyes, something he admired, because he needed privacy, ten minutes, and a cigarette to pull himself together.
Jenna needed ten seconds and a toss of her hair. And then she smiled, even though it trembled a little. “Are you hungry?”
That was the last thing he expected her to say, so he paused before answering slowly. “Sure.”
And then, with the ends of her robe brushing his legs, she grabbed his hand and led him back into the house.
Chapter Eleven
THEY ATE CORN Pops and Honey Smacks on the floor of her living room. Cal leaned against the couch, and Jenna sat cross-legged on the floor.
They’d done this so many times in high school, she could barely count. She’d lied a lot back then, telling her parents she was spending the night at Delilah’s, when really, she was at Cal’s. His dad didn’t care when he’d stumbled out of his bedroom in the middle of the night to pee and caught them cuddling on the couch with bowls of cereal on their laps.
She didn’t know what it was about cereal, but if she was having trouble falling asleep, all she needed was a bowl of carbs and milk, and she’d sleep like a baby. Of course, she’d always slept the best in Cal’s arms.
Cal had finished his cereal, and the bowl sat on the coffee table. His legs were bent, wrists braced on his knees. His head was leaned back on the couch seat behind him, but his eyes were on her. He was still barefoot and shirtless, wearing the pair of old jeans he hadn’t even bothered to button.
She didn’t know what happened now. Their visions for the future were so different. Cal was resigned to a life of bachelorhood, and she wanted a life partner, a family.
It pained her to see how much his vision of the future had changed. At one time, that had been all they talked about, making a life together in Tory. Sure, they’d been eighteen, but they’d meant every word. She was sure of it.
And now, Cal couldn’t be more adamant that he was fine with a life of bachelorhood. She didn’t think it was necessary to have marriage and a family to be happy, but Cal had always been so family-oriented. And he’d talked all the time about starting a family with her. It’d been the one thing that was sure to put him in a good mood.
Their connection was still white-hot, but they were going to douse it in a bucket of ice themselves. Again. Was it possible there was another man out there who would make her want and feel and crave as strongly as Cal did?
Maybe that wasn’t in the cards for her. She’d meet a nice man—husband and father material—who wasn’t grumbly and wasn’t stubborn. Hopefully, he’d still like to eat cereal in the middle of the night.
This didn’t feel like enough, this time they’d had, half of it discussing the past and the future they’d never have. She wanted to live in the moment, the present, and enjoy a little time with Cal where they weren’t reminded of all the reasons they couldn’t be together.
“Do you have plans tomorrow?” she asked.
Cal’s head slowly tilted forward until he pierced her with those slate eyes. His gaze flicked to clock overhead and then back to her. “Do you mean today?”
“Right, today, Saturday. You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t have plans on Saturday.”
“So spend the day with me,” she blurted.
He didn’t react.
“Just a day, Cal. A day where we don’t think about everything we had and everything we could have, but we just . . . enjoy the now.” He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “I’m glad you told me what you did, about not wanting a family, rather than let us go on and raise my hopes. So all I’m asking for is a day. And then . . . that’s it. We’ll move on and coexist in Tory and that will be that. We’ll remain history.” Her voice cracked on the last word. He must have heard it, because he flinched slightly. His jaw tensed, the muscles moving beneath this skin.
He was silent for so long, she wondered