did all this shit…” He takes a deep breath and stares lasers at the wall on the other side of the room, then turns back to me. “Not even us. She did all this for you, and you’re not even going to try? Did you not hear us? She’s the reason you’re getting out of here. She’s the reason you still have a fucking license.” He looks like he’s about to hit me right in the side of my face.
His brothers all glare at me the same way.
I lean back in my chair and let my head hit the wall behind me with a thud. “Look at me. Look at my fucking life, regardless. My name’s not even Rick. Everything was a lie. Do you know how bad I already hurt her? Do you know the things I said to her? You and me in the office was mild compared to how I treated her. How the hell do I make up for that?”
Donavan grinds his teeth. “You act like a man.” He shakes his head right at me. “Know what? Fuck this; I just watched her go full-on manic mode the last two days, doing the work of a damn entire legal team for you. Fucking nut up and quit feeling sorry for yourself. She believes in you, so you can believe in yourself. I don’t care if we have to kick your ass all the way back to the office.”
Deacon and Dexter both nod in agreement.
“Goddamn right,” says Decker, but he leans down in front of me, and actually looks compassionate for once. He lowers his voice. “I get it, you’ve been through some shit. More shit than any of us have ever been through.” He points at my chest. “But you need to stop being that guy. You were never that guy. Tabula rasa, you have a clean slate now. This is your chance to step up and be the man you need to be for the woman you love. You’ve never been a little bitch, no matter what name you used. Stop acting like one.”
I finally nod. Fuck it, they’re right. I’ll never be my own man if I let my past define me. I crushed Mary, and she still went through all this for me. She gave her best effort to fight for me when nobody else would. I should’ve never stopped fighting for her. I should’ve been right there with her the whole time, told her the truth, then made a plan. I could’ve avoided all this to begin with if I’d just opened up to her, accepted her help.
If I don’t go after her, my father wins. He fucking wins, and I’ll be goddamned if I let his actions dictate who I’m going to be. “Fuck that, you guys are right.”
Decker throws up a hand. “Finally, he’s in there. Praise the Lord, eat some crackers and shit, or whatever the fuck you two do. Now, can we all get back to work and be normal again, so I can stop dealing with this teenage drama bullshit?”
I glare up at him, then burst into a laugh. “This really is killing you, isn’t it?”
He reaches for his head like he has a migraine. “Fuck yeah it is.”
“What happened? With my father?” I ask Donavan.
“He’s still inside.” Donavan nods his head back toward the hallway. “I did a little digging. He has a long rap sheet, so I’m pretty sure he’s going to be charged as a class X, which makes him a habitual criminal. He’s probably looking at life.”
“Good.” I breathe a sigh of relief. Doesn’t sound like he’ll be getting out of there any time soon. My mind immediately returns to Mary.
I need to think of a way to win her back. It has to be the best display of remorse of all time. She deserves it after putting up with me, but more than that, she deserves it because she’s worth it.
Dexter stands up, as if he can read my mind, and makes a show of cracking his knuckles. “I suppose you’ll be needing my services. Everyone always does.”
I shake my head and smirk at him. “Sit down, amateur hour. I’ve been performing my entire life.” I turn to Donavan as soon as the idea hits me. It’s perfect, exactly what I need to do. “Payton’s dedication still this weekend?”
He nods, but his eyes widen the second he hears the question. “Umm, yeah, why?”