Dirty Playboy - Alex Wolf Page 0,63
His head tilts toward the ceiling, and he nods his head.
“What’s the ‘ahh’ mean?”
“It means I know what happened.”
My face turns pink. “I don’t think…”
He laughs again. “Christians are such prudes. How do you think we all got here?”
Okay, now I’m in the Twilight Zone. It’s not how I saw this conversation going.
“I, umm…” I don’t even have the words.
He finally turns to face me and this time he’s not joking. “God loves you no matter what. Stop listening to Christian culture, or however you were raised, or whoever you grew up around, and listen to Jesus. Who did he love? Sinners, prostitutes, the least of these. He damn sure didn’t like people twisting his Father’s words to make up rules for everyone, just to have power over their actions.” He holds up a hand. “I’m not saying go out and commit crimes and go nuts, just use your head and your heart. Christians focus so much on the rules, instead of the message. He loves you. You love Him. You believe in Him. You’re gonna be fine. I love beer and hot dogs and the White Sox. All are supposedly sins around these parts. Listen when you read your Bible, listen when you pray. He’ll tell you if you’re messing up. Don’t let anyone else try to take His job.”
I nod. “I know, you’re right.”
“If you’re worried about Rick’s belief system, all I can tell you is that people can’t be forced into believing. It’s a long and difficult road for someone to convert and stick with it. It’s why you don’t see me trying to force people into decisions here. I grew up watching it happen and promised myself I’d never do that. You make someone feel so guilty or scared they claim they believe in Jesus, and you see them for a few months, and then they disappear. But I do know Rick reads the Bible. He pays attention to sermons. I’ve talked to him many times. He can almost recite everything I’ve said from memory. And he asks questions like he’s really trying to understand the meaning.”
“He does?”
Pastor Jeremiah nods. “Yes. And in my experience, when someone is asking the kinds of questions he’s asking, reading their Bible, engaging with the information—they rarely walk away, if they’re not pressured into moving too fast.”
Living in Chicago has been such a surreal experience for me. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to move here, to gain new perspectives. That conversation would be so taboo at the church I grew up in back in Texas, probably even at my parents’ dining room table. If I’m being honest with myself, though, I feel more at home here. This is where I belong.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Texas. I had a great childhood. But my pastor there knew me for twenty years, and he would’ve never figured out what was going on with me. I would’ve never had the guts to tell him what was on my mind, especially something like this. Even now, it would’ve been nothing but judgment after I confided in him.
I stare right at Pastor Jeremiah. “Thanks. I mean that.”
The old man winks at me. “No problem. You’re a good kid. Everything will be fine.”
As I walk out of the church that night, I check one item off my anxiety check list. The only thing left now, is the Wells Covington situation. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it. I don’t even know what it is. All I know is Rick is somehow caught in the middle. I just wish he would talk to me.
I don’t want to push him. I may have even pushed too hard already. Now that I’ve talked to Pastor Jeremiah and listened to his advice, I wish I could take it back and just let Rick explain things on his own terms, when he’s comfortable with it.
The only thing that worries me, is that if he doesn’t do it soon, and Wells and Decker get into some kind of altercation, things might get messy before he has a chance to.
Rick Lawrence
I was in New York City all week and it drove me fucking insane. I’ve had to FaceTime with Mary to spend time with her and it’s unacceptable. I need to touch her, hear her voice in person, kiss her.
I’m finally about to get my chance as I pull up in front of her apartment.
I know why Decker sent me out of town, but I