but I hoped it was more than that. I wanted that for him, but I wanted more with him too.”
Jeremiah smiles right at me. “That being said, I always knew Rick was only here for you. He was in this building, reading the word of God, for Mary Patrick. Not the right reason to read God’s word, but it is what it is. And I watched him slowly change over those months. Some could say he changed just to impress you or get whatever he wanted from you, but I don’t think so. I think he changed because of you. So, it is possible that was your purpose for him.” He pauses and gives me that same smile the brothers at work keep flashing at me. Like they know something I don’t. “But I wouldn’t write him off just yet.” He shrugs. “You never know. It’s very cliché to say the Lord works in mysterious ways, but I can tell you it wouldn’t be a cliché if it weren’t true.” He lays a hand on my shoulder to push himself up, then pats my back a few times and walks away.
I sit there for a long moment, staring at the stained-glass windows, around at the pews. It’s so empty. So lifeless. This place used to be vibrant, alive, when Dominic would smile at me from across the room. I miss my chest heating up, just when our eyes would meet. I miss feeling alive, electric even, when his fingers would graze my skin, or we’d bump up against each other.
I miss his arms wrapped around me more than anything. I miss that safety I felt in his arms.
I just miss—him.
Still, I just don’t know if I can take him back after all this. I get why he tried to do what he did, but it was stupid. Very stupid. He’s been through so much, and psychologically, there is a lot he needs to work through. But he hurt me, bad. We were a team, or at least we were supposed to be.
I don’t know what I’ll do, even if he does try to talk to me. If he wants to rekindle things, he’d better say some compelling things to me, because right now I don’t know what decision I’ll make.
Mary Patrick
It’s Sunday morning at church. The place is packed as usual. I look around. I have so many memories over the past year and a half or so, when I first moved to Chicago and stumbled my way in here.
It’s crazy how you can wander down a street in a city or town, and just walk into a place, or meet someone randomly, and it changes your life.
The memories with Dominic flood in. They’re painful.
I don’t want to find a new church because I love this place so much, and I’ve been praying about it for a long time, but it physically hurts when I’m here now. I can’t focus on God. I can’t focus on anything. Everywhere I look, I see Dominic.
The Collins brothers and their wives and fiancées all walk in, along with Cole Miller and Harlow Collins, and the grandparents and a man I think is Harlow’s father. Paisley’s father walks next to her and Donavan. But, most importantly of all, Delaney and Payton are in their little carriers too. How do babies just make you forget about everything else for a split-second when you see them? Later, I’ll probably eat my feelings via a gallon of Ben and Jerry’s, thinking about a scenario where Dominic and I had a family together, but not right now.
I bypass all the adults and go straight for the little ones. They’re both asleep, so I don’t disturb them. I just look at little Payton and ask, “Are you ready for your big day?”
I stand up and lock eyes with Donavan and Paisley. “Are you guys ready for this?”
Paisley nods and smiles. “Yeah, we are. Thank you so much for you and Ri…” She stops herself. “Sorry, just thank you for everything you’ve done to set this up for us.”
Not going to lie, it stings a little, but I try not to show it. “No problem at all. I love the baby dedications. We’re honored you wanted to do it here.” A lot of churches are weird about wanting the family to be members of the church to do these types of things, but that’s the exact opposite of the way Jeremiah runs this place. It’s one of the reasons I