I need an easy getaway. I put on my boots. Pack my purse. Wallet, cell, ID, journal. His and mine. All his secret thoughts, next to mine. It means something. It has to.
Deep breath. Steady exhale.
I move into the main room.
He's standing in front of the door, hands in the pockets of his jeans, navy t-shirt falling over his shoulders.
Fuck, he looks just as good in casual attire. Still handsome, but less put-together. More vulnerable.
Like he really is showing me his scars.
I guess he is. He has. I just…
Can't think with him this close.
"You own jeans." My voice is strained. My throat is still raw. From crying. Screaming. Wanting to scream.
He nods I do. Stays exactly where he is. In front of the door. Waiting for permission to move closer.
"You look good in them." I pull my bedroom door closed. This is the first time he's really been in my space. It should feel like an intrusion, but it doesn't.
I want to pull him into my bedroom. Drag him to my tiny bed.
He's so tall. He won't even fit on it.
"Thank you." He stays in front of the door.
"It makes it hard to think. With you this close. With you so sexy." I remember our afternoon in the limo. His hands on my skin. My body buzzing with desires. "Can you try being less sexy?"
"I can try." He takes a half step toward me. Motions to the tea on the table. "Would you like it now?"
"You call that trying?"
"What would you like me to do?" He picks up the tea, offering it to me.
It's three steps to him. My fingers brush his as I take it. "I guess we should start with your face."
"My face?"
"It's far too handsome. Maybe if you wear some dorky glasses…"
"Do you have some?"
I shake my head. "It won't work anyway. You'll look all smart and sexy. I can't handle that."
He half-smiles. "Sunglasses?"
"Only if they look ridiculous. I have some star-shaped frames. With pink glitter. I can get them for you. But… you'll probably pull it off."
"There must be something."
"I think… The face is a lost cause. But this—" I draw a line in the air, around his torso. "Have you considered baggy clothes? Maybe a huge sweatshirt? Something to hide your physique?"
"It's the middle of summer."
"Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. For the people you love." The word falls off my lips. It's easier than it should be. Too easy. I want to hear it. Say it. Demand he say it.
"I do." His voice is quiet. "I do love you."
Fuck.
"It doesn't excuse anything. It might not change anything. I'm not sure that you want to hear it. But I do. I love you, Eve."
Addie's eyes go wide. For a second, she swoons. Then she remembers she's pissed. Folds her arms. Tries to look angry.
She looks to me. Mouths should I go?
I nod okay. I want her here. I want her to keep me safe. But I need to jump. Whatever that means.
She pulls me aside. Hugs me tightly. "I love you. Be careful, okay?"
"Okay."
She releases me. Shoots Ian the world's least intimidating stare. "Don't hurt her."
"I'll do my best," he says.
"I've seen your best. It's not good enough. Do better." She moves through the door. Slams it shut.
"That's the angriest I've ever seen her." I almost laugh. It does nothing to ease the tension in the air.
He loves me.
He. Loves. Me.
I…
He…
Fuck.
Ian takes a half-step toward me. "She wants to protect you."
"She let you in," I say.
"If you want me to go, I will."
I shake my head. Look for something to steady me. Find only the thermos in my hands. But it doesn't help. Even the familiar taste of Masala isn't enough. I drink half the mug. Set it on the counter. Rest my ass against the surface.
"The payment cleared?"
I nod.
"So I don't have to talk you into accepting it?"
"Why wouldn't I accept it?"
This time, his laugh is full. "Pragmatic."
"What? Am I supposed to reject four-hundred grand because I like you? Get real."
His laugh gets louder.
"Even if you hadn't hurt me… It's a lot of money. Money I need."
"I'm glad you have it."
"Is that all?"
His eyes meet mine. He doesn't say it again. He doesn't tell me the ball is in my court. After all, he just said he loves me and I…
My head swims.
"I'm sorry, Eve." His voice is soft. Honest. "I don't have anything better than I'm sorry. I have explanations. I have