Despite the Angels - By Madeline A Stringer Page 0,139

car and groped with the key for the ignition, I think I’m being swallowed too. What can I do about it? Have I the energy to do anything about it? I feel as if I am just lurching from week to week. Hey, you who does parking spaces, do you sort other stuff too? I could do with some help here.

“Leave him, Lucy. He is exhausting you. You would be better off even on your own. But you won’t be on your own, not for long.”

I’m exhausted. I’m on my own, really.

“Apart from me, of course. Try and remember I’m here. I’m on your side.”

Lucy backed out of the space and turned the car towards home. She drove the short distance automatically, her mind elsewhere and nowhere. Back at home, she lugged the shopping into the kitchen, carefully avoiding stepping on Fuzz who was doing her usual greeting dance. Lucy stuffed the frozen things into the freezer compartment and put on the kettle. She would just have time to relax before Aisling and Robbie would erupt into the house and distract her.

She took her mug into the sitting room and flopped onto the couch. Fuzz jumped up and climbed up onto Lucy, hoping for more attention. The phone shrilled and she startled, catapulting Fuzz onto the floor and spilling tea onto her leg.

“Hello? Oh, hi Jen, just a sec,” Lucy put down the receiver and the tea and went for a cloth to mop herself down. “Yes, sorry, I leapt a mile when you rang, I’ve drowned myself in tea. No, it’s okay now. No, only old slacks, not important. I don’t have any that are, really.”

Jen chattered, about her son, about Peter’s promotion and her mother-in-law’s hospital investigations. Lucy listened, feeling out of it. No promotion for Martin, how could he, with no job. He’s a one-man outfit since he fell out with his brother three years ago. So he doesn’t see his family anymore because he refused to speak to anyone who didn’t take his side. He hangs out of me, makes me agree with him about everything or he gets angry and sulks. Of course, I have my own family, but they don’t like Martin, never did. Maybe they were right. Her thoughts stopped, her mind on hold. After a while she became aware of Jen’s voice squeaking down the wire, “Luce, Luce are you still there?”

“Yes Jen, I’m here. Sorry, my mind wandered and I realised: I think my marriage is over.”

“Yes.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You’ve noticed. That’s great.” Jen stayed silent and Lucy’s thoughts whirled around her.

“How did you know? When?”

“Oh, Luce, it’s been as plain as, as whatever things are as plain as, for ages. I mean, I’ve watched you, trying to make things work with that eejit hanging out of you. You’re exhausted. We can all see it.”

“You’re right. I am. It’s like living beside an open fridge or something, every bit of happiness I create just gets sucked away. I have to be richer than I can manage, happier than I feel, just to stay on the spot. But now what? I’m stuck, I can’t do anything about it really. Martin says his business will get off the ground this winter, with the Christmas sales and then I can cut back and work less and have more time with the kids and..”

“Whoa,” Jen cut across her, “Take it easy. One thing at a time. For now why don’t you just get used to the idea and not change anything. Maybe it will come clearer later. Just do something to look after yourself.”

“Well, I do yoga and I’m still going to the art therapy sometimes. I think that was a huge help. Did I tell you about the parking space?”

“Yes, several times. Why don’t you ask whoever was getting you a parking place to help you now?” Jen laughed. “He must be at a loose end, now that you aren’t in a car!”

“Don’t mock.”

“Don’t mock, Jen. I really think something was helping me. I did try talking to him, earlier. Didn’t get any reply.” Trynor sighed. “But I think you’re right. I’ll ask again.”

“No point, darling. I’m already trying my best. But she’s right, your friend. Look after things one at a time.”

“I’d better go, Jen. Lots to do. How come you aren’t making dinner, which is what I have to do now?” She listened, as Jen explained that Peter was bringing home Chinese take-away, as he did whenever he decreed that Jen