Desperately Seeking - By Evelyn Cosgrave Page 0,58

I can keep it civil, there shouldn’t be a problem.’

‘No,’ I said, ridiculously delighted. ‘You know she’s seeing someone?’ Jean’s boyfriend of nearly two weeks wasn’t a secret but the minute I’d said it I knew I shouldn’t have.

‘She told me. She asked if I minded. I said I didn’t.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. Why would I? It was why she left.’

‘But you really don’t mind?’

‘No.’

‘Are you seeing anybody?’ I didn’t know where the question came from.

‘No, Kate, I’m not.’

‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what made me ask that.’

‘It’s OK.’ He took my hand in his. ‘This is probably hard for you, seeing a marriage break down as you’re about to get married. But just because it didn’t work out for us, it doesn’t mean it won’t for you and Keith. Trust yourself.’

‘OK.’

‘Forget what other people think you should do, forget even what you think you should do. Trust your instincts.’

‘OK.’

Later, as I was walking home from work a text came in from Keith suggesting we meet for an early dinner in La Cuchera, as he had to go back to work again. His new product was misbehaving and he had to go and give it a good talking-to. I texted back that that would be fine – I’d meet him there at six, which would give me the opportunity to have a soak in the bath and either think or not think about things. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately – desperately trying to soothe my permanently throbbing head. Soon everything would calm down and life would be simple again. But when I tried to remember the last time life had been simple I drew a blank. I did recall a pleasant afternoon playing hooky from school some time in Fifth Year – but surely there had been something since then?

After my bath I decided to dress up. I’d make one more attempt to get Keith to understand what I was doing and I figured I might as well use my full armoury. It was true that he’d been working very hard lately, but I felt he was being particularly obtuse about my decision to give up the law. I hadn’t been so happy about anything in years and I didn’t see why he couldn’t share in that.

I put on a new pair of white cotton cropped trousers and a fancy low-necked top to gizz them up. I played about with my hair and managed to get it to do something it hadn’t done before, which was either a great success or a ridiculous mess. I had got a little colour from my misspent afternoon so I enhanced it with a touch of bronzer. I must have looked all right because as he watched me walk through the door of La Cuchera and saunter over to his table, he emitted an audible sigh of approval. ‘You look great!’

‘Thank you.’

‘I’m a mess. I came straight from work.’

‘No, baby, you look fine.’ In fact, he looked very tired.

‘But you really look great. You do know I have to go back to work?’

‘I just thought we’d make the most of the time we have.’

‘Great!’

I sat down and perused the menu. He did the same, but I don’t believe either of us was reading a thing. ‘I want to talk to you, Keith.’

‘I know. Me too.’

‘I want you to be happy for me. This is a really big deal, you know.’

‘That’s why I thought you might discuss it with me first.’

‘I tried to.’

‘After you’d handed in your notice.’

‘I had to just go and do it before I lost my nerve.’

He was shaking his head.

‘You know how much I hated working there,’ I continued. ‘You know how wrong it was for me. I should never have been a solicitor.’

‘I always thought you were exaggerating.’

‘Well, I wasn’t.’

‘And this is it? You’ve packed in your job… and you’re going to college?’

‘Yes.’

‘Kate, I’m sorry if I don’t seem supportive but I wish you hadn’t excluded me.’

‘I didn’t exclude you. I told you straight away.’

‘We’re engaged, Kate, we’re starting a life together. We should talk about things like this.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry, but this is something I started on my own and I have to fix it on my own. You’ve no idea how miserable I was. And, anyway, this isn’t going to affect anything. We’re still getting married.’

‘It’s such a big decision.’

‘Not really. Loads of people change direction in their careers.’ I took his hands in mine. ‘I feel really good about this. It’s like a