Desperately Seeking - By Evelyn Cosgrave Page 0,10

OK?’ asked Marion, as she sat beside me on the bed.

‘I’m fine, sweetie. I’m a little drunk but, hey, what’s new?’

‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ said Lucy.

‘Look, there really wasn’t any need for the two of you to come over today. Mum and Dad are absolutely fine. We’re absolutely fine. I know I probably went on a bit last night but everything’s fine. Honestly!’

The two girls said nothing for a minute, then Marion took my hand. ‘Look,’ she said, ‘there’s another reason we came over today.’

‘Oh!’

‘Yeah. We heard a bit of news yesterday we thought we should tell you. Well, Lucy heard it first and then I was able to confirm it.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, aahhm…’

‘Daniel O’Hanlon’s wife is pregnant,’ Lucy blurted out.

‘Oh.’

‘We’re sorry. But you’re better hearing it from us. It’ll be all over the place soon. Apparently, they’re thrilled. It’s sickening, I know.’

‘I’m really sorry, sweetheart. You could do without this.’

I was genuinely unable to speak.

‘Will we leave you alone for a while?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Stay. I think I might be sick.’

3

You always believe there will be one person in your life who will make the difference. The person who makes sense of everything – you, the world, your family, love. The person for whom you would do anything because anything you do for them is something you do for yourself. The person with whom you fall wholly in love. For me, that person was Daniel O’Hanlon.

We met through work. I used to say that finally I understood why God had made me a lawyer. He’s with one of the other big firms in town – in fact, he’s a partner and his firm is the biggest. Apart from being strikingly good-looking, he’s one of the most admired men in his profession. Everybody knows who he is; everybody wants to know him. For a green young apprentice who had only just managed to pass her Blackhall Place exams (third attempt) and was contemplating a change of career, he was a symbol of the unattainable. In every sense of the word for, of course, he was married.

When he first started paying me attention I was merely flattered. It wasn’t unusual for men, particularly older men, to find me attractive. I’m a natural flirt and I’ve always found older men to be so much better at the game than those my own age. Perhaps it has something to do with older men not feeling threatened by a younger woman. And most married men who flirt do so playfully – at least, that’s what I’d always believed. So I didn’t think there was any harm in his phoning me up after the Law Society dinner at which we had been introduced. I didn’t think it was unusual that he asked me to join him and a few of his colleagues for a drink after work. Or that all of his colleagues disappeared after two quick drinks. I only thought how fabulous it was that Daniel O’Hanlon had so much to say to me and found my chatter so fascinating. That first evening we sat in the snug of the Merry Widow until near closing. We didn’t even drink much, we just talked and talked and talked. I can’t remember anything about our conversation; I was starstruck and he was – well, I still haven’t worked it out. Why does anybody start an affair? Sure, loads of people stumble into it, but he seemed to set out to do it. And why did he target me? Was it so obvious that I was easily impressed, slightly lost and of dubious moral character?

He walked me home that night. I do remember feeling that the streets had never seemed so alive with possibility. This was my city and anything could happen. All future events were mine to lay claim to. The sodium lamps seemed to be lighting the way into something that, for the moment, there was no good reason to turn away from. He brought me to my building and said he’d really enjoyed our talk. He hoped we might do it again. I said I hoped so too and kissed him briefly on the lips.

Over the next couple of weeks I kept bumping into him. He’d be in our building meeting one of the partners. He’d be having lunch at the same place I was. Or there he’d be, on the street, just a few feet away. And each time I saw him my body would contract, my mind would paralyse; I would be rendered