Deserted - Cara Dee Page 0,61

you lose your job in the middle of a recession? How long can you keep your apartment?” He paused. “What if something happens, and you have Jayden with you? Can you take care of him through a crisis?”

That wiped the last shred of mirth from Gray’s face, and he felt like he’d been pushed too hard. That Darius had gone too far. The bastard was probably right on every point he was trying to make, but way to be an asshole about it.

Gray averted his gaze and ducked out of the close proximity. His throat felt thick, so he tried to clear it on the way back to the kitchen. Though, he had no idea what he would do there.

“Gray, I’m sorry. It’s a sore topic.”

“No, it’s fine.” Gray went for dismissive. “I know I’m not enough for him yet.”

Darius cursed and stalked into the kitchen. “That’s not what I meant, and I think you know that deep down. My issue with today’s society comes from years of seeing how the other half lives. Traveling through countries where basic amenities and clean water are luxuries—and seeing how fragile our own system is. It has nothing to do with you personally…” He closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “At the same time as it has everything to do with you.”

Gray stayed on the other side of the kitchen island and folded his arms over his chest. “What?”

Darius let his hand fall, and he sighed. “When we get too comfortable, we forget how to defend ourselves,” he said. “That’s what I see happening. We’ve gotten so used to having everything handed to us with a snap of our fingers—or a swipe on a screen. And that’s terrifying to me, because we can lose it all in a second. Whether it’s on a small scale and a family member loses their job, or it’s on a global scale and we fall into an economic depression, life can change so fast. And then what?”

Gray nodded slowly and looked down. He’d grown up pretty poor, but Mom had worked her ass off to make sure no one missed anything important. She’d been creative and resourceful so Gray and his brothers never had to. She’d been deserted twice, first by the man she’d had Gage and Gray with, then by the man she’d had Gabriel and Gideon with. Oh, he sent money sometimes… His guilt had paid for private school and hockey gear.

Gray realized what Darius was doing right then and there. “You’re preparing to take care of your family, should anything happen that they can’t get through on their own.”

“It’s a coping mechanism,” Darius answered. “Maybe not the healthiest one, but it’s how I get by. History shapes us, and I have too much of it. I’ve seen too much of it. Wars, financial collapse, corruption, virus outbreaks, natural disasters…”

And who could forget the general sales pitch of recruiters at every private military contractor agency? We go where no one else will.

Darius had hundreds of tiny tattoos that covered a big portion of his chest and shoulder, and many of them were coordinates, Gray had learned. Locations, memories. Spots where he’d gone in to grab someone, save someone, bring someone home.

“I don’t think it’s just a coping mechanism,” Gray murmured. “I’m not saying your experience hasn’t played a part. Maybe you wouldn’t prepare to feed your family through a famine if you hadn’t personally seen what one does to people—and who suffers the most—but it all boils down to who you are, Dare. You say I’m the happiest when I take care of people I love? I say you’re exactly the same. If I’m the pilot taking a bunch of adrenaline junkies skydiving, you’re the man who makes sure they have parachutes.”

Darius lost some tension in his shoulders, and his mouth twisted up slightly. “Without the pilot, you can’t get off the ground.”

“And without a parachute, you’re pretty fucking dead.” Gray saw Darius in a new light and wanted to be near him. Perhaps he shouldn’t find any of this a surprise; after all, he’d personally experienced Darius’s selflessness and bravery before, but there was something more than that to this. He rounded the kitchen island and positioned himself right in front of Darius. “So, you got a pantry full of parachutes.”

Darius coughed into his fist and said something too quiet to decipher.

“What?”

“Three,” Darius muttered.

Gray grinned and slipped his hands to Darius’s sides. “Is the other cabin just one big