Depths - By Henning Mankell & Laurie Thompson Page 0,85
of following her from a distance. Of seeing her without her seeing me.
I will have to enjoy my child from a distance. I cannot stay here.
CHAPTER 140
Although it was now May, it was still on the cold side.
A short but devastating storm demolished the cottage's chimney. He climbed on to the roof and repaired the damage. He could hear Sara Fredrika talking to herself inside the cottage.
As he was about to climb down he noticed a sailing dinghy approaching the island along the narrow Lindöfjärden channel. It was making good progress, its sail positively bulging.
He jumped down from the roof, and told Sara Fredrika about the dinghy.
'It will be Helge,' she said. 'You must remember him, and his son.'
He prepared to receive the dinghy.
'I want to talk to him in private,' she said. 'But I'm not going to say a word about my husband's foot in the net.'
He went into the cottage, lay down on the bed and went to sleep. When he woke up again it was already evening. He walked down to the inlet. Sara's dinghy was still there. But there was no sign of the visiting boat.
Nor was there any sign of Sara Fredrika.
He shouted for her all over the skerry. No response. It was only when he came to the steep north edge of the island that he found her, where the breakers were rolling in to the battered rocks.
She was asleep. Beside her among the rocks was a broken bottle.
CHAPTER 141
She woke with a start and sat up.
She started coughing, the smell of strong drink slapped him in the face. When she tried to stand up she stumbled and grazed her cheek on a rock. He stretched out a hand, but she pushed it away with a laugh.
'I'm drunk. Helge realised that I needed something to drink. He always has aquavit in the boat. It doesn't happen often. I'll be back to normal tomorrow.'
'You can't spend the night out here.'
'I shan't freeze to death. No birds are going to come and peck at me. I have to lie here in order to gather strength to stand up again.'
She stretched, pulled up her skirt and straightened her legs.
'You won't be able to get me to the cottage tonight. But you can stay here with me if you like.'
She grabbed hold of his leg and almost succeeded in pulling him over. She was strong, her hands were like monkey wrenches. When he tried to pull himself free she laughed even more and tightened her grip.
'Haven't you got it? I'm not going to let go of the man who's going to take me away from here.'
'I've gathered that.'
She let go and curled up in the hollow.
I have to get away, he thought. One of these days she'll stick an axe into my head when she finds out that I'm not the person who's going to rescue her. It had dawned on him that he was afraid of her. He could not control her, whether she was drunk or sober. She tore some moss off a rock and covered her face with it.
'Leave me alone now,' she said. 'Everything will be back to normal by tomorrow.'
There is no normality, he thought. She'll discover the abyss inside me if I do not leave the island. Her abyss is hers, mine is mine. I'm too close to her.
Later that night he returned to the hollow in the rocks.
He could smell that she had been vomiting. He left her there.
CHAPTER 142
The next day it was drizzling and blowing a gale from the east.
When he woke up she was sitting outside the door like a wet, shivering dog.
'I'm not taking a dead woman with me to America,' he said. 'Go inside, take your wet clothes off and get warm. Otherwise you'll be ill. The baby will die.'
She did as he said. He went down to the inlet and sat down on a broken corf.
Why would he not tell her the truth, that he could not come back and fetch her?
He knew the answer. He had killed his wife, and he had killed his daughter. He had been caught by the nets he had set out. He was being pulled down, just as her husband had been when he got caught in a herring net.
He went back to the cottage and stole a look through the window. She was sitting in front of the fire, wrapped up in a blanket, with her head turned away. Just like Kristina Tacker, he thought. Two women who