He didn’t say it unpleasantly like he had before, but the way he was watching me closely made me nervous. He wanted me to hate him, and my stunned mind wasn’t in angry-Hannah mode at the moment. Did he know? What would he do if he found out? Please, not more spankings.
Instead of getting out of the bed near him, I scooted to the far side, never taking my gaze from his.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m not sure.”
He tilted his head again and took a step as if to go around the end of the bed. I retreated farther, creating more distance. He paused and frowned at me.
“I should change in the bathroom, alone,” I said in a rush.
He grunted and crossed his arms.
I scurried to the closet, grabbed clothes at random, and bolted for the bathroom.
With a closed door safely between us, I took a calming breath and tried to gather my wits. I was acting weird, and he was noticing. I needed to cut it out and get my act together. Nothing had changed. Emily had confirmed Merdon was here because of me, what? Three days ago? After the initial panic had worn off, and he continued to be a jackass, I’d brushed my fears aside. I’d just do that again because he wasn’t trying to get in my pants and trap me for life. He was just trying to make me hate him.
And hating Merdon was something I could do with ease.
Nodding to myself, I grabbed my brush and started to work through the worst knots in my hair. The memory of his hand on the strands wiggled its way into my head. I could still feel his touch and shivered lightly.
My brushing slowed as I remembered the time he’d held me just right in the basement and set places tingling that hadn’t ever tingled like that. And what about that breath-stealing, angry kiss he’d given me? Or how I’d been jealous over the easy way he acted with Emily?
What was I doing? Was I as stupid and slow as he accused me of being?
I ran a hand over my face then studied myself in the mirror, trying to objectively view the “Hannah” everyone else saw. There were dark circles under my eyes, but I’d lost some of that haunted look I’d tried so hard to not see. Eating well these past few days and exercising had put some color back into my skin. But, I still looked sick and starved and troubled. Deeply troubled.
Why was I having any kind of romantic-type responses to Merdon when I was still so messed up in my head? And talking to someone, like Brenna suggested, had backfired completely. Merdon’s response to my confession had been the opposite of helpful.
Yet, after overhearing what I had, I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d answered the way he had in order to further provoke me into hating him.
“Gah, this is so messed up.”
A knock on the door resonated loudly and startled me into dropping the brush.
“Are you all right, Hannah?” Emily asked from the other side. “Merdon said you’re acting a little weird this morning.”
“I’m fine. I just need a minute. Too much going on in my head, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s not reassuring me. Can I come in?”
“Nah, I’m coming out. I’m hungry and don’t want to think anymore.”
I quickly pulled on the clean shirt then left the bathroom. If Merdon had a problem with the sleep shorts, he’d just need to deal with it. He wasn’t in the bedroom to notice, though.
Emily waited by the hall door. A look of relief crossed her features after she looked me over.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s okay. I know you didn’t sleep well last night; I heard you. Maybe after breakfast, you can take a nap on the couch.”
“Not sure Merdon will be okay with that,” I said, following her from the room. I hoped he would. Naptime was far preferable to mat-time.
“You never know,” she said with a shrug.
And the sad truth was that I really didn’t know what to expect from him.
He was waiting for us in the kitchen and watched me closely as I forced myself to nonchalantly occupy my usual seat at the island. His hair was damp, and he wore new clothes. While I was sure he hadn’t been wearing the same clothes for the past few weeks, given his penchant for my cleanliness, this was the first time I’d noticed the change. Why