Except, with Merdon, it might not. He was Emily’s problem. That meant I could let him keep petting my hair.
A shaky exhale escaped me.
His hand paused like the sound had surprised him. I leaned my cheek more firmly against his pectoral, and he resumed his comforting caress.
He didn’t seem like the same person in the dark. He actually seemed…nice. I didn’t let myself think about how I might leverage this change to my advantage. I was still too raw for that and wasn’t willing to sacrifice what he was currently giving me.
His hand moved from my hair to my back. The pressure and rhythm remained the same, but the new path created an awareness that hadn’t been there a moment ago. The opportunity to feel something other than pain compelled me to lift my head.
His hand stilled as our gazes met. My focus shifted to his mouth.
Could I? There were so many reasons not to. Emily. The potential that Merdon’s infatuation might inadvertently shift to me. Being stuck in this room even longer. But the reason to kiss him was more compelling.
What wouldn’t I do not to think or hurt for a few minutes? What haven’t I already tried?
I licked my lips and slowly closed the distance.
At the last second, he turned his head.
His rejection stung for a brief moment. Then he spoke.
“You can’t use me to numb your pain, Hannah. It won’t work.”
“How will we know if I don’t try?”
He looked me in the eye, his expression hardening into that same judgmental one that grated on my last nerve.
“I said no.”
“You know what? Screw you, Merdon. You’re an idiot for passing up an opportunity with a woman. You thought your past lives empty? This one will be filled with days watching all your brothers pair up while you remain alone. You know why? Because you’re an asshole, and women are smart enough to avoid that kind of man.”
During my rant, I’d pushed off of his lap. Now, I headed to the bed.
He caught me by the arm and spun me around.
“And no one will ever want you because you’re mean,” he growled at me.
My temper snapped. I balled up my fist and swung at him.
He dodged, ducking low. I squawked when his shoulder bumped my middle and he stood. I knew this move. Kicking in an effort to get free, I beat on his back.
“I don’t need a shower, you fucking son of a—”
His hand landed on the same damn, abused butt cheek as last time. I squealed and bucked to get off his shoulder.
“Stop moving or you’ll hit your head.”
“Fuck you, Merdon!”
He shifted my weight, and I felt us going down. I paused, moving to push the hair out of my face and look around.
We were out of my room and descending the steps.
“Where are we going?”
He didn’t answer. I twisted around, looking for Emily, but the house was dark. There was no way she could have slept through me yelling. I arched my back to look up the stairs, before he turned the corner, and saw her door was still shut.
I opened my mouth to yell to her, but what could I say? She’d already shown she wasn’t going to help me.
Merdon turned again, heading for the basement stairs. A spike of foreboding speared me. Why was he taking me there?
Because it will be quieter, my thoughts whispered.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He kept walking.
“Take me back to my room.”
He reached for the door, and I started squirming in earnest.
Merdon didn’t follow the rules. He shoved me into the shower, force-fed me, and smacked my butt. He was rough and didn’t care that it hurt me. Whatever he planned to do to me in the basement wouldn’t be good.
He jogged down the basement stairs and flicked on the lights. Then, he tossed me to the ground like a bag of dirty laundry.
Stunned, I looked up at him, my heart hammering.
“Try to hit me again,” he said, standing over me.
It felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head.
“No, thank you,” I said quickly. I might want to hurt him, but I didn’t want him to pop my head off like I was an infected.
“Stand up, Hannah. Now.”
I scrambled to my feet, only then noticing they weren’t on the cold cement floor. Under them were black foam interlocking squares. Firm yet cushioned. My gaze flicked around the room, noting other changes. The boxes were all moved against the walls, perfectly stacked to block all the