Before I reached it, I heard them and pressed my ear against the wood.
“…doesn’t sound like it’s going well.”
“She’s not making it easy.”
The deep timbre of Merdon’s voice was unmistakable and sounded very close. They were purposely trying to speak quietly. Why? So I wouldn’t know Emily was in there and try to talk to her? She and I were past that possibility, and her next words proved it.
“We could try something else.”
“No.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
There was a rustle of cloth, and I could picture her pressing up against him, ensuring he would be okay with whatever she wanted. I’d taught her that move. Traitor.
“What I want doesn’t matter.”
I gripped the knob and twisted. It didn’t move, just like my bedroom door that first day.
“Emily!” I yelled, slamming my hand against the door. “When I get out of here, we’re done. Do you hear me? You can’t do this and expect things to ever be the same again.”
I hit the door again and put my shoulder into it when I tried the knob again.
This time, I came spilling out, a tangle of limbs and naked skin as I fell to the floor. My knee took the brunt of the impact. The throbbing pain didn’t slow me as I picked myself up and looked around the room for the pair.
Emily was already gone, the door closed, and the bed made. Lights from the wall were illuminating the dimly lit room. Merdon was returning the chair to its original place. He didn’t look at me, for a change. I did. I looked down at myself and felt a sharp stab of humiliation.
Gracelessly getting to my feet, I hobbled over to the bed. My hands shook from exhaustion as I slid into the new yoga pants and shirt that waited. I didn’t look up from what I was doing even when I heard Merdon move to look out the window.
My heart hurt more than ever before. Who was I anymore?
Without acknowledging him, I slid under the covers. My stomach made a sound like a waterbed as I finally settled against the mattress. I couldn’t believe I’d kept the broth down through all of that. I frowned, realizing I actually felt a lot less sick.
Fucking Merdon.
I closed my eyes, ignoring the tears sliding down my cheeks.
Trapped in my own hell, I ran through the trees, towing my sister with me. The infected moaned behind us, their sounds almost drowning out our ragged breathing.
The familiar panic and fear coursed through me, making my heart race.
I wanted to scream and rail against what I knew was coming. I tried to open my mouth and make some kind of sound. I tried so hard my throat hurt. My mouth never opened, and I continued running, and like all the times before, I helplessly relived the moment I left my sister behind.
I could almost feel the trails my tears should have made as I looked back at her and watched her disappear under the crush of infected. I tried harder to force myself to stay with her. To do something other than run away.
Yet, I turned, and I ran. I ignored her shrieks for help and the wet sounds that would forever haunt me. I ran until I collapsed. Then, I forced myself to my feet and stumbled into the home Katie and I had been using for days.
I huddled in the corner of the bedroom we’d shared, and I sobbed as my soul shattered. But I still didn’t scream. I couldn’t make that kind of noise. It wasn’t safe.
The dream shifted.
My stomach cramped. I moved around the kitchen, looking for a scrap of anything we might have missed, but I knew it was all gone. It had been for days now. Since the day Katie and I had left our sanctuary to find a better place with more food.
Eyes watering, I closed the cupboard and looked outside. If I wanted to live, I’d need to leave. The thought terrified me, which is why I’d chosen to slowly starve myself for the last two and a half days. My stomach spasmed harder, letting me know that waiting any longer wasn’t an option.
After drinking my fill of water, I took a knife from the kitchen and slipped out the door.
I couldn’t stop shaking as I crossed the yard. We’d found a house in a small neighborhood in the middle of nowhere. There’d been decaying bodies, but no infected. Now I knew why;