in the cold water, shaking with rage and reminding myself to have patience.
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded.
“Because you’ll leave.”
I lifted my hands and mimed myself choking the life out of the idiot.
“I didn’t mean why are you standing outside the shower. I meant, why are you here? Why are you involved?”
Thankfully I’d put my hands down before he glanced over his shoulder and met my gaze.
“Because Emily asked.”
“I see,” I said neutrally, my thoughts already racing with what that meant and how I could use it.
“No. You don’t, but you will.”
He turned around, missing my glare.
“Wash, Hannah.”
I gave his back the finger, then stripped out of my clothes and once again tossed them out on his head. He flicked them to the floor, as unbothered as he was the first time I’d done that, and waited with seemingly endless patience as I washed. I decided to test just how far that patience stretched and took my time with each limb. I lingered long after the water cooled and my fingers pruned. He just continued to lean there.
Giving in, I washed my hair.
Like the last time, he left the bathroom just before I shut off the water. Privacy was good. I needed to think without him watching me.
Merdon was here because Emily asked. A small, victorious smile tugged on my lips. He’d given me the key to my freedom with those three little words. I knew how obsessed fey could get over a girl. He would do anything Emily asked.
I toweled my hair and thought of my next move.
Swaying Emily into stopping this lockdown shouldn’t be hard. She said all along that she only wanted to help me because she thought I was drinking too much. Pulling myself together and acting normal for a while wouldn’t be a problem. I’d done it hundreds of times before. But because of that, convincing her my actions were real might take some time.
That thought exhausted me.
Resting a trembling hand on the countertop, I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t look good. Dark shadows smudged the thin skin under my eyes; my overall hue could only be described as waxen and sickly; and I was far too thin, something that Emily had been worrying about for a while. As I stared, another face superimposed over mine, likewise sickly and waxen.
I quickly turned my back on the memory and clutched my head while humming a flat note. My mind wanted to wander back to that day. It whispered that I hadn’t yet suffered nearly enough to make up for what I’d done. It was the small, hateful voice eating at my thoughts and stirring my misery that reaffirmed my plan. I needed out of this room so I could find enough booze to shut down the memories and the voice again.
It took another minute of rocking and humming for my head to clear enough for me to consider my next steps. Emily wouldn’t believe I was better until I stopped looking like I was two breaths away from turning into an infected. That meant food.
The thought of eating something didn’t appeal to me in the slightest, but by eating real food, bathing, and acting nice, Emily would see the change she wanted to see. She always had in the past. I’d be out of this room by tomorrow morning, latest. No problem.
With my mind set on a plan, I wrapped my towel around my torso and left the bathroom. I only made it a step into my room before pausing and blinking in confusion.
The mattress no longer had any sheets covering it, and Merdon wasn’t sitting in his usual place in the chair beside my bed. The chair now waited by the closet with a TV tray set up next to it. Merdon leaned against the door, blocking any means of escape.
I looked at the soup waiting for me, the shirt and yoga pants set out on the mattress, then Merdon.
“Would you mind facing the door so I can change privately?”
He tilted his head, considering me, then moved so he was facing the window. If I stayed by the bathroom door and changed there, he wouldn’t see me. It was at least something. Grabbing the clothes, I quickly dressed while glancing at the soup. There wasn’t anything in it. No noodles or meat. How was I supposed to show Emily that I was better by drinking that?
“I’d like to talk to Emily,” I said.
He grunted and returned to his original position, making