knew what I’d done once I crawled under the covers.
In fact, thanks to my bed-buddy, I was still blissfully insulated from the harshness of life. Unwilling to give up even a little of the ground I’d gained, I took a morning swig then stowed the bottle before closing myself in the bathroom.
When I saw myself in the mirror, I realized my bloodshot eyes were sending out a warning beacon. Emily would take one look and know I’d been drinking. Since her harping was the last thing I wanted to listen to, I wet a washcloth and held the cold compress to them. It took several applications before the redness faded. I even went the extra step to brush my teeth and comb my hair.
Feeling pretty confident that my appearance passed as normal, I left my room and noticed Emily’s door was still closed. Good. It would give me more time to figure out what to do with myself. Yesterday, I’d gotten away with just lying on the couch because she’d assumed I was tired from being up most of the previous night. Going to bed early also hadn’t been questioned.
I knew better than to think I’d get away with the same today. At least, not without Emily thinking something was wrong with me. I mean, obviously, there was, but her motherly smothering wouldn’t fix it. Nothing would.
That thought had me craving another drink, which started an internal debate over whether I should. I knew I needed to conserve the alcohol I had left until I figured out how to quietly get more. In addition to the issue of gaining a better supply, there was also the problem of Emily. She worried and watched me far too closely. Although she hadn’t commented on my quiet trips to my bedroom yesterday, she’d likely question it today.
Even if I had an endless supply of alcohol, I wouldn’t get away with drinking myself into a constant state of numbness with her around. That meant I either needed to go somewhere else and drink—not happening with so many fey around—or find some way to distract myself from the burning thirst drying my throat.
I decided to keep cleaning. It’d been something my family had done every Saturday morning. We’d all take a room and clean the hell out of it. As my sister got older, she and I competed to see who could get done first. It’d been fun.
The small smile on my lips died with the memory, and regret and guilt clouded my mind.
Emily didn’t comment on my dusting when she finally came downstairs or when I changed to washing light switches and doorknobs. Moving from room to room gave me an excuse to duck into my own for a quick drink without raising suspicion.
“You have a lot of energy today,” Emily commented when I returned to the kitchen with the cleaning rag. “Did you sleep better last night?”
“Yep. No dreams that I remember.”
“Good. Do you want to get out and do something? I was thinking about catching a fey ride over to Tenacity to check it out.”
From all accounts, Tenacity was just like Tolerance, a massive cluster of homes that the fey made “safe” for habitation by building a wall around them. Since I didn’t care for my current prison, I didn’t see the point of going to tour another one.
“I’ll pass. We haven’t made a cake in a while. I think I’ll go to the supply shed and see if there’s a box mix.”
“I heard it’s pretty low, but there are groups going out for supply runs every morning. If you can’t find anything today, there might be something tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t want to go with me?”
“I’m sure. Don’t worry. You go do you. I’ll be fine.”
I pulled the vacuum out of the supply closet and pretended I couldn’t feel her staring at me.
As soon as she left, I stopped cleaning and poured myself a cup of vodka. I didn’t bother mixing it with anything because if Emily returned before my drink was gone, it’d look like water. At least, that was the reason I told myself.
Wandering the house, I sipped and studied all the empty nail holes in the walls. There were boxes in the basement filled with the previous family’s belongings. Based on all the holes, there had to be a lot of pictures. Unable to help myself, I crept downstairs. The basement ran the width of the house, its length divided by the stairs. One side had