“I’m sure the fey can find what she needs,” Emily said.
“I’m sure they can, too. But Tasha’s leaving isn’t about finding the supplies. It’s about finding her place in this world. Are we only here as bed warmers, or are we here to participate in some way, however small, in remaking this world into what we want it to be?”
“Participate, of course,” I answered, “but that doesn’t mean we need to allow children outside the wall.”
“Brenna told me she already pointed out that it’s not the wall that keeps us safe. Uan will go with Tasha and thirty other volunteers. If they can’t keep her safe out there, nothing will.”
“I heard that Brenna was almost bitten twice,” Emily said softly. “And that was under Thallirin’s watchful eye.”
“The infected are getting smarter,” Nancy acknowledged. “But so are we. The humans who go out wear layers of thick material that’s hard to break through with teeth.”
“And when the infected get smart enough to cut it away?” Emily asked.
“Then we’ll learn to adapt to that, too. But I’m hoping that the fey who go out at night are making the world a better place, one headless infected at a time.”
I looked at Uan then Merdon.
“Fey are going out at night?”
“Yes, we kill any infected that gather.”
“Are there a lot of them?”
“No. Very few since they came here and killed so many.”
“I hate not knowing where they’ve gone and why they’re staying away,” Emily said softly.
“Exactly,” Nancy said.
I didn’t see how Emily’s concern proved her point, and Nancy must have seen the confusion on my face because she smiled at me a little.
“Staying inside Tolerance’s wall, we’re clueless. What if the infected are doing something out there? What if they’re learning something? Or worse, what if they’re all gone? What if the hellhounds killed them?
“How is that worse?” I asked. “Isn’t wiping out the infected what we want to do?”
“It is. But if they’re all gone and we’re living in fear in here, missing the opportunity to find survivors, supplies, animals that will help us rebuild into something sustainable, isn’t just sitting here worse?”
I hated that I could see her point. We didn’t know what we didn’t know, and staying here wouldn’t help us in any way. Yes, the fey were going out, and they were smart, but there were things the fey still didn’t know. That was why humans who understood the world needed to travel with them.
“But it doesn’t have to be Tasha,” I said. “She’s too young.”
“The infected are evolving. If I keep her here, she won’t evolve with them. She’ll be like me. An easy target. I can’t do that to her. Instead, I can send her out with a personal escort and hope that she comes home to us. And, hope that I’m still here when she does.”
Uan hugged her closer, and I was reminded of the truth again. We were all going to die. Some of us had accepted that and had already given up, a path I’d been on for so long. Some, like Nancy, acknowledged their impending death and were determined to fight for every day they were given. Yet, there were others who still hadn’t caught on, and I pitied them for the harsh reality they still had to face. It would be no kinder than the one I was facing now.
I forced myself to see the truth in what I’d known all along. The safety inside our fey-built wall of cars was an illusion. Anything could happen inside the wall just as well as it could happen out there. My fight to keep Tasha here was as pointless as my belief that I was safer here.
My gaze locked on Merdon. He was my safety.
“I’m going with you tomorrow.”
He grunted at the same time Nancy smiled.
“You’re smart, Hannah,” she said. “I’ll be going outside the wall myself, once the weather warms. I hate this feeling of false security. I feel lulled by it even though I know better. Staying sharp means staying alive. Stick with my girls and the fey. You’ll be fine.”
She looked at Emily.
“What about you? Will you be going?”
“No. I’m content to stay. We’re like the cows. Keep the herd divided and hope the infected don’t attack all the places at once. That way, at least some of us will survive.”
Nancy nodded slowly.
“I guess we are.” Her fingers played with the edges of Uan’s shirt. “We should get going. I want to spend some time with my girls before they go