With the bow in my hand, I ambled back to the house, taking my sweet time without trying to make it obvious.
Brenna was letting Thallirin know her plan to visit Tenacity with Emily and me. Shax and Angel would meet us at the wall after lunch. That meant I had at least an hour to waste. While I knew Emily would have something for us to eat, I didn’t want to leave any extra time that Merdon might be compelled to fill with basement activities.
He hadn’t said a word to me since telling me to focus, and that worried me. His silence was like the lull before a storm. And, I had no doubt there’d be a storm eventually. I’d escaped his plans for me this morning because of Brenna’s intervention, and I’d likely do the same for the rest of the day. He wasn’t going to like that. Even now, I could feel his angry stare boring holes into my back.
My spine tingled with the need to look over my shoulder. When I gave in, he glared at me suspiciously. Given that I’d been looking back at him every thirty seconds, I could understand his mistrust. I quickly faced forward.
The house loomed ahead, too close for my comfort. Tucking my hands deeper into the pockets of my coat, I looked back at Merdon again.
“Any chance I can go look at the cows?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you need to eat.”
“I will eat.”
“You need to tell Emily that Angel wants to help and that she and Brenna are going to Tenacity with you. Or did you not think of Emily when inviting the others?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, hating what he was hinting at. Yet, he was right. I’d put my need to get away from Merdon before Emily’s feelings about her dinner dates project.
Staying the course, I headed for the house. Emily opened the door before I reached it.
“How’d it go?” she asked. The hopeful light in her eyes lanced me with guilt.
“Really well. Brenna’s impressed with my aim and says I might have some skill. You should come with me tomorrow.” I leaned the bow against the wall, hung my jacket, and kicked off my shoes before following Emily to the kitchen.
“I think I’ll stick with baking and let you learn all the dangerous stuff.”
“Shooting a bow isn’t dangerous.”
“What you shoot at would be.”
I laughed.
“You know we’re shooting at that pile of melted dicks, right?”
She cringed and glanced at Merdon.
“No. I didn’t.”
“Angel was having a good time. Shax isn’t a big fan of the target, though.”
Emily slid a plate toward me. It was a simple grilled ham and cheese, yet I knew there was nothing simple about it.
“Bread? Ham? How?”
She grinned.
“The bread was pulled out of a working deep freezer, which is now in the supply shed to help store all the stuff they’ve been bringing back. So was the ham. The cheese was in someone’s fridge. It’s part of one of those fancy wheels fully encased in wax.”
“I really hope that someone knows how to make cheese,” I said after swallowing my first bite. “And I really hope those cows cooperate.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to ask around about what people can do.” Emily looked off thoughtfully. “It’d also be smart to make a list of everyone’s skills. I’m sure Matt already started something like that since he knew that Cassie was going to school to be a nurse. We should ask him.”
I nodded, amazed how Emily was always thinking about the next thing that would help make everyone’s lives better. And there I was, just thinking of ways to avoid Merdon and my own misery. James’s words came back to haunt me. I really didn’t like who I was these days.
Merdon nudged me.
“Eat,” he ordered.
I realized I’d stopped and took a bite. As I chewed, something clicked into place. His barked orders always came when I was lost in dark thoughts.
I paused mid-chew to look at him. Even though he was eating, he wasn’t focused on his sandwich. He was focused on me. I’d rarely seen him otherwise.
“What do you think?” Emily asked. “It’s called a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.”
“It’s good. Thank you,” he said.
Courtesy. Kindness. How many times had he reminded me to show her the same?
“It’s so good,” I echoed. “Hey, Em, would you mind if Angel and Brenna tagged along with us to Tenacity? I think Angel’s bored and desperate for a way to contribute. When I mentioned the