Defy the Sun (Beware the Night #2) - Jessika Fleck Page 0,73
hand tighter, and I squeeze it back.
Staring down, our laced fingers blurring around the edges as I fight back the reality that I will eventually have to choose between them. Despite knowing I might never be able to properly be in a relationship with Nico, he holds a large part of my heart and that’s not fair to Dorian.
And despite the fact that Dorian and I haven’t been close a fraction of the time Nico and I have, he too holds a part of my heart. Which isn’t fair to Nico.
I’m the only one who’s going to be able to sort through this and make a choice.
Dorian is staring at our hands too, but he glances over at me just as I look at him. “I’m sorry,” is all I can say, deep emotion rasping my voice.
“I know…” Gently, he leans his forehead against mine. “I don’t envy you, V. It’s not going to be an easy choice. Nico and I…” He pulls back slightly so we’re eye to eye. “Neither one of us will be bowing out anytime soon.”
I swallow. Hard. Force myself to look away or else the tears welling on the other sides of my eyes will surely begin to fall, and I don’t have time for crying right now.
I stare back at the note from Nico. Test the sharpness of the edges against my fingertips. I’m not about to open it with Dorian staring over my shoulder.
He must sense that because he stands. Says, “I’m going to go and take care of a few things … I have meetings … A possible mission…”
I force myself to look away from the small square of paper. “What mission?” He opens his mouth to tell me, but I cut him off with, “It doesn’t matter. I’m going.”
For the briefest of moments, Dorian seems like he’s about to argue, but he must somehow shut himself down. “Well, you do outrank me.” I swear he’s biting the inside of his cheek. “You stay here, try to rest up a little? And I’ll get the details, be back in an hour tops.”
I want to trust him, but I definitely don’t trust him to be so accommodating about me fighting. That was too easy.
He must sense this or maybe I’m staring at him in the most skeptical way ever. “V—I will not leave the Lower without you.”
“One hour,” I repeat.
“I promise.”
* * *
NICO’S LETTER IS pretty much exactly what I expect it to be: lovely and succinct. I both love and hate how he couldn’t resist poking fun at how utterly awkward my letter to him was.
He addresses it to the Lunalette.
Enclosed is a list of Basso the High Regent claims were killed by the Night.
Then he signs it:
Yours,
Nico Denali, Heir to Bellona
I read his words over and over again. Study the curves of his letters, the places where his ink smudged, where he seemed to pause for thought. I try to imagine him writing under the light of a lantern or next to a window. Perhaps in front of the hearth and over a marble chess set, fine golden palace things surrounding him.
Then I turn to the list.
Before I’ve unfolded it completely my throat is tight and my eyes are burning. Because I already know …
No one on this list is down here.
I take a moment to calm the war drum rapping in my chest, the cold-blooded vengeance I would die to unleash on Raevald. The man must pay.
But not right now …
Now I must talk peace with Nico.
With a deep breath, I respond in kind.
Your Highness, Heir Denali,
I’m familiar with the pull you mentioned. In fact, I’ve actively worked against it for years. Finally, though, it’s completely overpowered me. Or maybe I’ve given into it. Whichever, I look forward to experiencing it again sooner rather than later.
As for peace—I agree. But what to do in the meantime? That’s a tough question to answer when so much is chaos. Everything seems so unwound here in the Lower, I’m having a hard time deciphering up from down. The list you shared is both extremely troubling and very helpful. I’ll be sure to compare the names with our own records and will let you know what I find.
But I already feel certain of the result.
And I think you might too—or I don’t believe you would have sent it to me.
Until then, please keep hunting for information and stay safe. I’m more and more convinced we can’t stay second in power for much longer if