Defining Darkness - K E Osborn Page 0,57
I do things a little fucking weird? Maybe, but I am who I am. I don’t know any other way.”
My fingers slide along his chest as I stare up at him. “I happen to like who you are.”
The happiness on his face shines brightly for a split second, then everything stops. All the bad in my life is well again just from the joy in his expression. He shines like the stars at the stroke of midnight in the middle of a field, with no city lights to dull their brilliance. Despite everything we’ve been going through, the way he ignites like this from one small compliment means so much to me. I mean as much to him as he means to me. I just hadn’t figured it out until this very second.
“That means a lot, Eva.”
I lean in, pressing my lips to his softly. I need him to understand there’s no judgment from me about his past. If anything, I think more highly of him. Pulling back, there’s one more thing I’m desperate to find out the answer to. “Can I ask something else?”
He shrugs. “Sure, why not.”
“Why, Nycto? What does it mean?”
His hand comes up smoothing a strand of hair from my face. “It’s short for Nyctophilia.”
I furrow my brows. “Is that some kind of weird sex thing?”
He bursts out laughing. “No, it means a preference for the darkness or night. Basically, finding comfort or relaxation in the dark.”
His childhood really has shaped who he is today. Even down to who he is as a biker. It’s sad in a way, but I understand something like that would stay with me too. He’s been traumatized. It changed him, irrevocably. He’s just trying to live his life the only way he knows how by shutting out the light. The light hurts him. It might be weird to people who don’t understand, but I get it now. Though, maybe he needs to talk to someone about his issues. He obviously hasn’t had any form of counseling about his childhood.
“Nycto, have you talked to anyone about your past?”
“Yeah, sure, a few brothers here and there. The people who need to know do.”
“No, I mean talked to someone, a professional to help you with your demons?”
He scoffs. “They don’t help, Chiquita. What’s the point in dragging up old memories? I put it to bed when I…” He pauses. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over with. I’m fine.”
I take in the dull red glow illuminating the room. “The reason you couldn’t sleep before I got here… was it dreams? Nightmares?”
His face scrunches as he glares at me. “Where are you going with this, Eva?”
“You believe you’re okay, but your inner child is still in there traumatized. Alec, you need to talk to someone and find out if this behavior is normal for someone this many years later.”
“It’s too damn late. We should try to get some sleep.”
He’s shutting down.
I know when to stop pushing. I will try again in a couple of days. For now, I need to let this go. “Thanks for opening up to me.”
Nycto closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Good night, Chiquita.”
I slide into his side getting comfortable. “Night, Alec.”
I can’t tell what the future holds for Nycto and me, but his past was miserable. If I can keep him focused on how good life can be, maybe he might start to deal with those demons that haunt him. Because they do. Whether he believes it or not.
He might want to push me away for wanting to help him, but maybe it’s a risk I need to take.
Chapter Twenty-One
EVA
A Month Later
Being confined to the clubhouse since I got here is starting to wear thin. I knew we would kind of be in isolation, but I had no idea Ivy and I would honestly be kept on the clubhouse grounds with such restrictions.
Ivy has coped with it better than I have. She’s happy in her little bubble as she calls it, but I want to explore America, to experience the city of Tampa, and to go to a freaking mall and buy my own things, but Nycto’s adamant we can’t be seen. His tension is growing the more time goes on about us being found. He’s anxious. It’s like something’s eating at him, and no matter how I try to talk to him, he won’t budge on opening up or going to talk to a counselor.
He’s stubborn.
But other than our mutual frustrations, we’ve been doing good. Our sex life