The Defiant Wife (The Three Mrs #2) - Jess Michaels Page 0,37
first moment.”
She smiled sadly. “Oh, yes.”
There was silence between them then as they stood there, eyes locked, and a world of what could have been hanging between them. Finally he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. He shut his eyes and let out the longest, deepest sigh she’d ever heard.
“I wish things could be different,” he murmured. “I wish…I wish so many things. But you know this is impossible.”
She flinched, though it was only the truth he spoke. A truth she knew and accepted, despite the deeper feelings that tormented her heart. That was why loving him hurt so much. “Of course it is,” she admitted. “I never believed anything different, Rhys. There are so many reasons why this can’t work.”
“My duty is to repair the damage Erasmus did,” he said, she thought more to remind himself than her. “To you, to the others, to Kenley. To my own house and line, because at some point—” He moaned softly, as if what he had to say pained him. “At some point it will have to carry on and I do not wish to put a burden on my children.”
“I know,” she assured him. “The scandal surrounding what your brother did is enormous, and I am a part of that. I know what that means, I know that you couldn’t throw away the consequences of this…this connection between us. I never expected you to.”
There was relief on his face at that absolution, but it was immediately followed with regret. “Because, because, because…we could list a dozen reasons why we can’t do this. Why we shouldn’t have let it happen. Why it can’t ever be more. I hate it, Phillipa.” He reached out and cupped her cheek gently. “I hate every part of this and that it spoiled what was the most intoxicating experience of my life.”
She smiled a little at that part of his admission. “The most intoxicating?”
He smiled back and that flutter of an expression made him look so much younger, so much more like the man who had risen up over her and taken her until they were both sweaty and shaking.
“Oh, yes,” he promised. “I have never lost control like that with any other woman.” His thumb smoothed across her skin. “God, it felt good.”
“It felt amazing,” she said. “I will never forget it.” She shifted slightly. “You and I are not going to have many opportunities for something good just for ourselves in the future,” she said softly. “You will have your duties to fulfill, and I will likely always be tainted by my past. Couldn’t we just have…have this for a little while, Rhys? Don’t we both deserve this something good after all we’ve been through and all we’ll sacrifice before this is over.”
His cheek twitched. “You absolutely deserve more than one something good. I’m not sure I do.”
She shook her head as she stared up at this man she loved and could not have. Not for more than a fleeting time. “Of course you do,” she said. “I will tangle with anyone who says otherwise.”
He chuckled. “Including me.”
“Especially you, if you allow it.” She laughed, too. “I thought that was what we were discussing.”
His smile remained, though his laughter faded. “Oh, Phillipa you are a temptation. And I know myself well enough that one taste of you won’t satisfy me for long. I will wake up tomorrow—hell, I’ll go into a room tonight, and you will be all I see and all I need. If you are offering me a chance to surrender to that for a little while, I don’t think I have the strength to deny you.”
“Then I’m offering you just that.” She leaned in closer. “Please, please, pl—” She didn’t get to finish because he caught her mouth with his in a searing kiss.
His hands roamed down her back, cupping her backside as he lifted her up into him. He ground against her and she felt the hardness of him increasing, even though the thick fabric of his trousers. She shivered at that thought that this could be hers, he could be hers, just for a while.
He drew back at last, his breath short as he stared down into her face. “I think I better stop now,” he groaned. “As much as that pains me.”
“Yes. But I hope you’ll leave your door open for me tonight?” she asked, shameless, and she didn’t care.
He nodded. “Tonight and any other night you want to slip through it.”