Defiant Princess (Boys of Oak Park Prep #2) - Callie Rose Page 0,72
on the counter. The cold had numbed my bruised skin and made my joints feel stiff and awkward, but I squeezed the hand that was still holding mine as hard as I could, gripping him so tight he winced.
“But I am not my mother. What she did, no matter how awful it was—it had nothing to do with me.”
He looked down at our joined hands, at the bruising grip that held us together. “I know.”
“And what you did—every single thing you did to try to punish me for my mom’s actions—you decided. No one else did that. No one made you.”
“I know.” His voice was pitched so low I almost couldn’t hear it.
My bruises ached, my fingers were going numb, and I could feel my bones scraping together as I clutched his hand. He was squeezing mine back just as hard, each of us gripping the other like an anchor in a storm.
“You made it your goal to hurt me. And if I’d been a different person, or been put in a different foster home, or let my grandma’s hate get under my skin… I could’ve ended up taking the same way out your mom did. Is that what you wanted?”
His gaze snapped up to mine, a look of wild panic flaring in his eyes, and he released my hand suddenly, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his embrace, crushing me against him. His grip on me was so tight I could hardly move, and everywhere we touched, I could feel his body shuddering.
“No. Don’t.” His lips were in my hair, the words spoken directly into my skull, as if he could somehow plant them in my brain. “Don’t ever do that, Tal. Please. Fucking. Don’t.”
Chapter 19
Mason held me for a long time, and I didn’t try to push him away, didn’t struggle against his tight hold. I couldn’t quite bring myself to hug him back, so I rested my hands on his arms, feeling the muscles clench as hard as steel beneath my fingertips.
His heart beat heavily against mine, and his breath was ragged as shudders wracked his body.
Maybe I should’ve pushed him away or hit him or kneed him in the balls. But part of me needed this too, needed the support of someone else who was as fucked up by all of this as I was. We held each other like two boxers in a clinch, an embrace of exhaustion and violence that could almost be mistaken for tenderness from a distance.
Eventually, we stepped away from each other. As soon as I left his embrace, Mason turned and rested his hands on the kitchen counter, his head bowed. It was a look of utter defeat, and I gazed at him for a moment, unsure what I wanted to do.
Comfort him?
Exploit the open wound I’d found by stabbing it over and over again?
I couldn’t convince myself to do either, so I walked away and headed for the door. He turned his head slightly as I opened it, but he didn’t try to stop me.
A few fat raindrops fell from the night sky as I made my way back across campus. It hardly ever rained here, and I tilted my head up, letting the droplets of water hit my face and trail down my cheeks like tears.
My clothes smelled like Mason, like cedar and a hint of something spicy, but I didn’t even bother to change as I stumbled into my bedroom, exhaustion finally dragging me toward sleep. I crawled under the covers and pulled them up to my ears, letting darkness pull me under.
Money problems
Mom committed suicide
Mason found her body
I stared at the last sentence as I finished writing it under Mason’s name in my little notebook. The final word trailed off until it was almost illegible as the press of my pen lightened.
Those two lines weren’t just dirt on Mason and his family, knowledge that could be used against him. They were the reason for this whole thing, the flash point for the Princes’ attacks on me in the first place.
Not an excuse, not a justification.
But a reason.
At least now I knew.
Tearing my gaze away from the page, I flipped the notebook closed and slid the elastic band into place. I hadn’t slept nearly enough, and I’d been tempted to ditch my morning classes. But as soon as my alarm had gone off at seven, I’d found myself wide awake—and the last thing I wanted to do was lie in bed thinking.