Defect - By Ryann Kerekes Page 0,67
fence.
Once Will finishes packing the bag, he and I walk in silence to his room. Neither of us wants to talk about what we’ve just learned or face what will come next.
As soon as his door closes, it’s like a fuse has been lit. I fling myself into his arms, and he pulls me close. We kiss urgently, as if our bodies know our time together is nearly over.
He picks me up, pressing my back against the door, and I wrap my legs around his waist. I grasp his shoulders and hold on for dear life, turning myself over to him completely. He’s normally so serious and reserved around me, but not tonight. He presses my back against the door – hard – and takes over my mouth and throat with wet kisses, while he presses his body against mine. It makes me feel alive, and my heart pounds wildly.
He carries me across the room and lays me down on his bed. He looks down at me for just a second before I pull him down on top of me. He holds himself up, balancing so that his full weight isn’t crushing me. As we kiss, he relaxes and begins to lower himself farther down on top of me. I like feeling the weight of him, like this is the only thing that’s real. He presses his hips into mine, stealing my breath and driving me crazy with desire. We kiss deeply, our tongues exploring, our bodies moving together. It’s like we’re both trying as hard as we can to forget about what looms over us, and the fence that will separate us.
His breath is coming fast against my mouth. “We have to stop … if we don’t stop now …”
“I know,” I breathe against his mouth.
He sits up beside me on the bed, and looks over at me, a bit of mischief in his eyes. My need for him takes over, and I wonder what will happen if we don’t stop now. I can think of no better way to spend my last night here. I scramble onto his lap and kiss him again, not holding anything back this time.
His empty threat about needing to stop is soon forgotten. Several minutes later, we’re still kissing, our bodies still frantically moving together.
He chuckles against my mouth. “Eve. This time we really have to stop.” He takes a deep breath and removes me from his lap. “Besides, there are things we need to talk about, don’t you think?”
The physical separation from him is an unwelcome shock. “But we only have tonight. We could waste it talking … or you could distract me.” I smooth my hand over his stomach, daring it to move lower.
He tenses under my touch and then pulls my hand away. “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head. “I can’t do this.”
I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, but it stings just the same. He stands up beside the bed. His absence leaves a hole inside me.
“I don’t know what this is to you, Eve.” He gestures between us. “But to me, it’s more than this.” He motions to the bed. I sit up, feeling like an idiot. “I don’t even know what you’re thinking – about leaving, about you and me, about any of this.”
I take a deep breath and pull my knees up to my chest, hugging them to myself. “I haven’t told you, because it’s too hard to even think about us when I know I’ll be leaving.”
“No one said you had to do everything alone. You made that decision.”
I take a minute to think about the meaning behind his I words. “Will.” I swallow and take a deep breath. “I couldn’t expect you to come with me.”
His eyes are the softest shade of gray, like the sky just before a rainstorm. “No, you couldn’t expect it. But you could have asked what I wanted.”
Something stirs inside me. I’m afraid to even think the question forming on my lips. I remind myself to be brave. “What do you want?
He sits down beside me and looks straight into my eyes. “I like you, Eve,” he says carefully. “Really like you.” I touch his cheek, and let my palm rest there, too stunned to speak. He is much braver than me. And much more honest, too. He’s waiting for me to answer. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispers.
“This terrifies me,” I blurt out. He looks confused and hurt. “I’m afraid of what liking you too much would