Defect - By Ryann Kerekes Page 0,61

façade seemed to be cracking – with people trying to escape, others failing the mindscan. I sit down on the edge of Rena’s bed, and she brings the quilt up around my shoulders and sits next to me, but my eyes stay locked on Will’s. “What’s on the other side?”

“You mean the wilderness?” Will asks.

I nod.

“I don’t know for sure.”

The words should scare me, but they don’t. A wanting wells up inside me – a yearning for freedom – to be away from the scrutiny, the tests, the control of this place; it’s more than I can bear. I have to bite my tongue to stop from asking Will to take me there. I can’t bring myself to say it out loud. Just the thought alone is dangerous.

“But why haven’t I heard more about the Radicals?” It’s strange to think I know nothing about the way they live.

Rena speaks this time. “The government won’t acknowledge they exist – they can’t. But they are there. More of them than people realize.”

“So what do we do now?” I ask, my voice trembling.

“Now you rest,” Will says, helping me to my feet.

He walks me back to my dorm, not leaving until I’ve crawled into my bunk. He gets the knife from my locker, slides it under my pillow and kisses my temple. “Get some sleep.”

Chapter 22

Where no hope is left, there is no fear.

– Unknown

Will has instructed me to act normally and though I do on the surface, my insides churn with tension. I’m on edge all the time now, suspicious of every training assignment Kane gives us, wondering if this is the way they try to kill me, wondering which will be my last day here.

They have succeeded in scaring me into submission. In training I make sure to stay in the middle of the pack, not wanting to call any extra attention to myself, and wanting to be surrounded by others. My food is tasteless and seeing Sam and Jake together, happy, makes my stomach hurt. I can barely sleep at night. Most of all, I long to see Will, even for a few minutes at a time, but he seems busy all the time now. Though I hate to think this way, I suspect he’s starting to distance himself from me, so it will be less painful when I’m gone. I’ve only known him for a short time, yet I trust him completely.

At training the next afternoon, Kane is in charge of us. I’ve come to dread any time that Kane is in charge. Then Will comes in saying I’m wanted for more testing. Kane is reluctant to release me, but Will says it’s an order from O’Donovan, and Kane lets me go. I follow Will from the room, nervous about being submitted to more testing.

He walks me outside and doesn’t stop. I hurry behind him. “Where are you taking me?”

He turns and faces me. “Do you trust me?”

I nod, looking up into his eyes.

“Then come on.” He takes my hand and pulls me to the Jeep.

We drive in silence along the dirt road that cuts along the edge of the forest. “So where are we headed?” I have a feeling his line about O’Donovan excusing me from training was a lie.

“There’s something I need to show you.” He turns and glances at me before looking back to the road. “And we needed to talk somewhere safe.”

I don’t know what to expect from him. Though I haven’t known him long, I feel connected to him in a way I can’t explain. His strength, his courage, and the way he teaches me to protect myself are all things I admire about him. But mostly, it’s just him. Little things like how he lets his guard down only around me, the way he smiled in surprise when I kissed him, and how he didn’t even flinch when I asked for his help to escape this place; instead he was already plotting for ways to help me. I know I shouldn’t be falling for him, that I shouldn’t be focusing on anything other than getting out of here, but with Will around, that’s impossible. I wouldn’t know how to do this without his help.

I reach over and take his hand. He gives mine a squeeze. Then he pulls the Jeep off the road and parks under a tree. He sits facing forward, lost in thought for a second, looking sad. This look scares me. “Will? What is it?”

“I’ve heard O’Donovan and La Rusa