more puzzled than angry. “Don’t say that. I may not have talked to you about it, but I never lied. You forgave me for waiting to tell you about what I was. How is this so different? It’s just a different aspect of the same beast.”
“No, it’s not,” I said, fighting to keep my voice level. “It’s nothing like that. It’s true, before I knew what you were, I said some shitty things about Others. When I broke up with you, it was because I was pissed off at you for being manipulative and for hiding things from me. Acting like that makes you no better than Royce.”
That shut him up. The lines etched into his face, particularly the deepening crow’s-feet around his eyes, spoke of just how deeply I’d managed to wound him with that last comment. He hated Royce with a burning passion. Knowing that, I’d use it to the hilt. Maybe it was low, maybe it was unfair, and maybe it even made me a bitch—but at the moment, I was beyond caring. If it hurt him, I’d wield that knowledge against him, and gladly. Petty or not, at this point I was willing to do anything that might make him hurt the way he and his pack had hurt me.
“Royce,” I hissed, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “never—ever—treated me with the disrespect you’ve shown me. Never hurt me like you did. Even with the contract and the blood bond. How’s it feel to be lower than a leech?”
For the first time in his presence, I felt a thrill of fear for myself as Chaz raised his right hand off the steering wheel, clenching his fingers into such a tight fist that his knuckles popped. He’d never made such an overtly threatening move toward me before. I know his strength, so the move was sobering and had me withdrawing against the car door.
“Don’t you ever—”
His fist came down, cracking the dash. I jumped, staring wide-eyed at the indentation he’d left in the plastic.
“—ever compare me to that leech again. We’re nothing alike.”
Only my fear of what he might do to retaliate kept me from speaking again. He huffed in silence for several minutes. Gradually, the tension eased out of his shoulders, and he resumed speaking, though his tone remained sharp and cutting.
“I never forced you into doing something you didn’t want to do. Didn’t change you, didn’t harm you. Don’t talk about me like I’m one of those … those monsters.”
“Are you kidding me?” I exploded, unable to keep my temper in check, no matter the consequence. Some niggling sense of self-preservation kept me from telling him about the cuts Dillon had inflicted. Even now, enraged, I knew somehow things would go far more badly than they already had if he found out that I might have been infected with lycanthropy by one of his own. “What do you think seeing you and Kimberly fucking like bunnies was, Chaz? A walk in the park? Of course that hurt me, you selfish prick!”
He had the grace to redden. Some of the plastic steering wheel coverlet shredded when his fingernails grew into claws as his agitation got the better of him.
“She doesn’t mean anything to me. She’s just an outlet. You’re the one I love,” he insisted.
“Bullshit. I call bullshit.”
“For God’s sake—”
“Do you have any idea how hurtful this is to me? Do you even have a clue?”
“Of course you’re hurt; you’re always hurt whenever you find out something about me isn’t human enough for you—”
“This isn’t about that!” I shouted.
“Then what’s it about, Shia? I told you what’s wrong. I told you why I had to do it. I knew you’d freak out, just like you did when you found out what I was, and just like you’re doing now. This isn’t how I would’ve wanted you to find out, but it’s too late for that now, and I don’t know any words to say that will make it better. So what exactly is the problem here? What is it about, huh?”
“You! You lying … deceitful …” I sputtered off, too angry to continue.
“You know what? Fuck this. Get out.”
I stared at him, some of my immediate anger edging over into confusion. “What?”
“You heard me. Get out of the car.”
We were somewhere in the Bronx. Nowhere near home. We hadn’t even hit Long Island yet.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. I’m not dealing with your shit anymore.” He cut through traffic in a few savage, jerking motions, and