his side—but it wasn’t what we needed. I know how selfish that sounds, and I hate myself for even thinking it. It just felt like fate was conspiring against us.”
She put her spoon in the tea and stirred again, collecting her thoughts.
“That fall, right after I finished up with all my classes and moved back home to work at the developmental evaluation center here in town, Tim’s parents were in a horrible accident. They were driving back from Asheville when they lost control of their car and swerved into oncoming traffic on the highway. A semi ended up hitting them. The driver of the truck wasn’t hurt, but both of Tim’s parents died on impact. Tim had to quit school—he was trying to get his PhD—so he could come back here to take care of Alan.” She paused. “It was awful for Tim. Not only was he trying to come to terms with the loss—he adored his parents—but Alan was inconsolable. He screamed all the time, and he began pulling out his hair. The only one who could stop him from hurting himself was Tim, but it took all the energy Tim had. I guess that’s when I first started coming over here. You know, to help out.”
When I frowned, she added, “This was Tim’s parents’ house. Where Tim and Alan grew up.”
As soon as she said it, the memory came back. Of course it was Tim’s—she’d once told me that Tim lived on the ranch next to hers.
“We just ended up consoling each other. I tried to help him, and he tried to help me, and we both tried to help Alan. And little by little, I guess, we began to fall in love.”
For the first time, she met my eyes.
“I know you want to be angry with Tim or me. Probably both of us. And I guess we deserve it. But you don’t know what it was like back then. So much was going on—it was just so emotional all the time. I felt guilty about what was happening, Tim felt guilty. But after a while, it just began to feel like we were a couple already. Tim started working at the same developmental evaluation center where I did and then decided that he wanted to start a weekend ranch program for autistic kids. His parents always wanted him to do that, so I signed on to work on the ranch, too. After that, we were together almost all the time. Setting up the ranch gave us both something to focus on, and it helped Alan, too. He loves horses, and there was so much to do that he gradually got used to the fact that his parents weren’t around. It’s like we were all leaning on each other. . . . He proposed later that year.”
When she stopped, I turned away, trying to digest her words. We sat in silence for a while, each of us wrestling with our thoughts.
“Anyway, that’s the story,” she concluded. “I don’t know how much more you want to hear.”
I wasn’t sure, either.
“Does Alan still live here?” I asked.
“He’s got a room upstairs. Actually, it’s the same room he’s always had. It’s not as hard as it sounds, though. After he’s finished feeding and brushing the horses, he usually spends most of his time alone. He loves video games. He can play for hours. Lately I haven’t been able to get him to stop. He’d play all night long if I’d let him.”
“Is he here now?”
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “Right now he’s with Tim.”
“Where?”
Before she could answer, the dog scratched insistently at the door, and Savannah got up to open it. The dog padded in, tongue out and tail still wagging. He trotted toward me and nuzzled my hand.
“He likes me,” I said.
Savannah was still near the door. “She likes everyone. Her name’s Molly. Worthless as a guard dog, but sweeter than candy. Just try to avoid the drool. She’ll drip all over you if you let her.”
I glanced at my jeans. “I can see that.”
Savannah motioned over her shoulder. “Listen, I just realized I’ve still got to put some things away. It’s supposed to rain tonight. It shouldn’t take long.”
I noted that she hadn’t answered the question about Tim. Nor, I realized, did she plan to.
“Need a hand?”
“Not really. But you’re welcome to come. It’s a beautiful night.”
I followed her out, and Molly trotted ahead of us, completely forgetting that she’d just begged to come inside. When an