Dealers' Choice - Susan Hayes Page 0,39
between hurting someone else or dying.
If it came down to it, she already knew what her decision would be. She’d die before she’d help these monsters hurt anyone else, even if it meant never seeing Victor and Ward again.
Chapter Nine
Not even an hour of high-g cardio and working out with the sparring bot did much to improve his mood. Sometimes, Ward mused as he stood under the hot spray of the gym’s shower, being a cyborg sucked vacuum.
Or maybe it was just being him. His entire life had been a struggle. From the time he’d stepped out of his maturation tank, he’d been fighting one battle or another. First against his fellow cyborgs, then against the conditioning that was supposed to prevent him from ever having free will. After that, it was the rebellion against the corporations, followed by aimless wandering, and then fighting for a place where he and Vic would be accepted.
He scrubbed the cleanser over his skin, trying to wash away the memory of what happened next. The years they’d been trapped under Ariel’s control. She’d treated them like interchangeable toys. This and that, she’d call them. Or one and two. She’d never tried to tell them apart. They were objects, not beings, and the orders she’d given them were as arbitrary and cold as she was. Kill this one. Fuck that one. He didn’t remember all of it. Chunks of his life had been deleted with every reset, which was both a blessing and a curse.
But this time, they’d believed they had finally found something real. Something good. Even knowing his time with Xori couldn’t last, he was sure she was the one good thing he could give to Vic to make up for his mistakes. Like the time he’d walked away and left his brother to bleed out.
He turned off the water and stalked back to his locker, drying himself off and pulling on his clothes, his mind still churning, counting all his failures over and over. Xori was the one he kept circling back to. Why had she left them? She’d snuck out while they were sleeping like she was somehow ashamed to face them again. He slammed a fist into the locker, caving the metal in several inches.
He dropped his hand, exhaling sharply. Fraxx. He needed to calm down, or he was going to do worse than beat up the décor.
As much as it stung him to do it, he made himself go through one of the calming exercises Xori had taught him. He didn’t want to even think about her right now, but he could hear her soft voice in his head, giving him instructions as he cleared his mind and took the long, slow breaths that somehow helped him find his center again.
When he opened his eyes again, he wasn’t alone. Denz was leaning against the far wall, keeping a respectful distance but clearly waiting for him. There was no other reason a sane being would hang around breathing in the steam and gym-funk that the station’s aging air filtration system couldn’t begin to keep up with.
“You okay?” The big male asked.
“Better than I was a few minutes ago,” he jerked his head to indicate the new dent in his locker.
“I’ve become something of an expert on being pissed at the world and trying to channel it into something constructive.” Denz shrugged. “Back on Haven, I’ve got friends that help me through the rough batches. Just thought I’d offer the same to you.”
“Thanks. Not sure there’s anything you can do to help, though. Unless you’ve got insight into the mysteries of the female mind.”
Denz threw up his hands. “Fraxx, no. Give me a problematic AI to reprogram, and I can make magic happen. Thanks to Zale I can even handle a little robotics and nanotech, but when it comes to females…” He raised his massive shoulders in a helpless shrug. “I take it the date last night didn’t go well?”
“Date went great. At least, I thought it did. But when Vic and I woke up this morning, Xori had already left and now she won’t answer her comms.”
“Ouch.” Denz nodded to the locker. “That explains the redecorating.”
“Yeah. I should probably go tell Cyn or one of the others I’ll pay for the damage.”
Denz shrugged his massive shoulders. “I can tell ‘em. Why don’t you track down Xori and talk to her in person? I mean, you’re in an emotional state, and she is your therapist, right?”
He opened his mouth, ready to