Dealers' Choice - Susan Hayes Page 0,17
down into her lap. “You never have to submit to me, Xori. Never.”
“Old habits,” she whispered, her throat so tight she could barely force the words out.
“I would never hurt you.”
She nodded, swallowed, and tried to find her voice again. “I know. If I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t have told you my secret. I wouldn’t have…” she smiled a little. “Gone out on what I’ve been pretending wasn’t a date.”
“You haven’t told me all of it, though.” He didn’t let go of her hands, and she could feel his emotions pressing into her awareness. Regret. Anger. Affection. Need. So much need it threatened to shatter the last of her resistance. He wanted her, and it forced her to accept how much she wanted him, too.
“Will you tell me what you did the other night. How did you stop Ward from killing the asshole who hurt you?”
“I took his anger away.”
He exhaled softly. “So you can do that.”
“I can. It’s only temporary, though. To do it to someone who carries the rage and pain he does isn’t really a kindness.”
“Because it doesn’t last.” Vic’s fingers caressed hers. “Show me?”
She managed a tiny shake of her head, knowing it wouldn’t deter either of them. It was her last moment of resistance before giving him everything he wanted. She understood now. She’d been waiting for Ward. Until he’d expressed his interest, it had been easy to resist. Now, things were different.
“I have to know.” He gave her a small smile. “I need to remember what it was like to be whole and happy.”
A sense of trust and longing pushed past her walls, and she stopped trying to block the flow of emotions. “Touch makes all my abilities stronger. I’m trying not to read you right now, but it’s difficult when we’re connected like this and I don’t have your consent.”
He tightened his grip on her hands. “It’s okay. You have my permission. Read me. Then do what you did for Ward.”
“Remember, this won’t last.” She opened the connection between them, and let it in, the good and the bad. The joy and the sorrow. She held onto the darkness and fed the light back into him, tempering it into something impossibly pure. Later, she’d have to burn off the negative feelings she’d taken from him, but that was part of the price she paid for her gift. Watching Victor’s face as all the pain and anger faded away, seeing the peace she brought him, even for a moment, it was a price she was happy to pay.
Ward had been right, it was like walking into sunlight after years in the dark. It was liberating, incredible, and better than any pharma he’d ever taken. There was no guilt or pain. No grief or regret. He’d never believed in a higher power, but if there was such a thing in the vast universe, this was what he thought it would be like to stand in its presence.
“Now you know,” Xori whispered. Her voice was strained, and he belatedly realized that whatever she was doing, it came at a cost.
“I know. You can stop.”
She nodded, and the aching purity of the moment faded almost immediately as the shadows crept back into his soul. They were heavier now, because he was aware of them again.
“You can do this to anyone?”
“For a little while.”
“At what price?”
She tipped her head and smiled at him. “Ah, you figured that out, did you?”
“I’ve been the universe’s chew toy often enough to know that good things always have a cost.”
“If it’s only for a little while, like what I did for you, it’s not bad. Emotion is basically another form of energy, which means it can’t be destroyed, only transferred or converted into something else.” She touched a talon-tipped nail to her chest. “For now, I’ve shifted it to me.”
He didn’t like the idea of her carrying his pain. “What does that mean? Is it hurting you? You should have told me. Dammit, that means you carried Ward’s, too. No. Give it back to me.”
Her laughter surprised him, but not as much as when she pressed a soft finger to his lips. “Shh. It’s alright. I’m not in pain. I can’t really explain how it works, there are no words for it in any language.”
He took her hand, pressing a kiss to the tip of her finger. “Fix yourself. Now.”
“It's not that simple. I need to…” she paused and waved her free hand vaguely in the air between them. “I need