gently pry her hands from her face, surprised at how cold they feel. “Fuck, you’re freezing.” Idiotic statement. I was the one who blasted her with cold water. I’m not faring much better, still dripping wet from the storm outside.
She lets me pull her shirt over her head. Helps me take off her shorts and underwear. Sits there and blankly watches as I run a hot bath, plugging the drain.
Her hand wraps around my wrist when I pull back, though. “You’re bleeding.”
I only barely caught a reflection of myself as I rushed in here, but I saw enough to know how grisly I must look. “Just my nose.” My tongue prods around inside my mouth. “And my lip.”
She looks at me with her wet, wrong eyes, pulling in a long sniffle. “Get in with me?”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice. I begin peeling off my suit, hissing when the heavy, weighted fabric grazes against my bruises and scrapes. She lets me get into the tub behind her, pulling her into my chest as the tub fills. The water is bordering on too-hot, but it relaxes my aching muscles, and she’s stopped shivering. Too much adrenaline for one night, I bury my face into her neck and breath in the scent of her, alive and okay. God, if I’d lost her. If she’d taken more of those pills…
When it’s full, she grabs a washcloth. “Let me…”
I don’t argue when she turns, gently dabbing the cloth over my chin. Her eyes are a little clearer now, watching raptly as she cleans the blood away. Her small sniffle is still loud in the silence. “I’m sorry about Em.”
I shrug. “You might not be when you see him.”
Despite everything, the corner of her mouth quirks up. Her eyes fall to my chest, her legs all crowded between us. “I think I was… glad.” Her forehead creases. “Or not glad, but maybe… relieved? Grateful?”
“Grateful for what?”
When her eyes meet mine, they’re full of guilt. “I was talking to Tyson earlier, and I was telling him that things are so much better now. That I don’t need the pills—the escape. Because I have you and the Devils, and things are so… so good for once. And then I saw that picture…” Her face goes tight, shuttered.
Comprehension dawns over me. “It gave you a reason.” I still her hand, gently taking the cloth away. “Maybe Em was right. Maybe you’re not ready for this.” It hurts like a bitch to admit, but I can’t ignore it.
Her eyes fall closed. “Don’t say that, Reyn. I can take it from my parents and him, but not you.”
“Baby, look at me,” I say, touching her chin. When her blue eyes open, so full of fear and sadness, I explain, “I like being the reason you don’t need it anymore, but I can’t—I won’t be the reason you do need it.”
Her lip wobbles and I still it with a kiss, tender and full of things I can’t bear to say. “I promise I won’t do it again.”
“I don’t think that’s a promise you can make.” I gently add, “You have a problem, V.”
She blinks and the tears spill over, running tracks down her cheeks. “I don’t want to.”
“I know.” I pull her into my chest, palm cradling the back of her head. “I’m sorry,” I say, pressing a kiss into her hair.
“Does this mean you’re—” The words get swallowed by a sound that I feel more than hear—a hard jerk in her chest. Her shoulders quake against me, and I hold her tight.
I know what she needs to hear, but maybe there are promises I have no business making, either. “It means that I love you. The rest? We’ll figure it out. But tomorrow, okay? Tonight’s been a long… week.”
“Will you stay?”
This promise is easy to make. “Always.”
The warmth from the bath dissipates the second I reenter her room, seeing the pills on the bed. She’s still in the bathroom, pulling on clothes, so I swiftly gather them all up and stuff them into the pocket of my damp coat. I’ll get rid of them my-fucking-self.
I rouse slowly. Painfully.
There’s this ray of sun stabbing right into my eyelids, but when I try to turn away from it, it awakens every single ache in my body. I wonder how Emory’s feeling right about now, and I hope like hell it’s as bad as this.
I squint against the light, my eyes blearily taking in the room. The spot beside me is cold