Dead Man's Deal The Asylum Tales - By Jocelynn Drake Page 0,157

been thinking of something less obtrusive and deeply hidden. The council’s agreement meant that I was back to killing and torturing people for the Towers.

“That can’t be because I’d have to be considered an inhabitant of the Towers to take on such a role,” I said, shaking my head.

She said nothing. She stared at me with cold, dead eyes. I wanted to scream at them all, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t catch my breath. As the truth hit me, I started hyperventilating. To survive, I had to take their offer, which meant that I was a part of the Towers again. I was one of them. I was back.

Nearly a decade ago, I had fought my mentor, nearly killed him, and nearly died in the process to break free. I had survived a hearing before the council. I lost my family, survived repeated assassination attempts, and lay hidden, lying to the world for years. All of it to escape the Towers. And now I had to choose between death and willingly returning to the enemy’s ranks. The killing I had sworn against doing would only be the tip of the iceberg once I was at the beck and call of the council. If they wanted me to live among the people, they wouldn’t give away my secret, but I’d still have to look at myself in the mirror each day, remembering the lives I destroyed for them. The life I had built was slipping through my fingers.

I drew in a deep, fragmented breath, trying to stop my hyperventilating. I was on my knees on the cold, black floor, but I couldn’t remember how I had gotten there. A cold sweat covered me and I was so light-headed that the room seemed to sway.

Gideon’s dress shoes came into view. He couldn’t touch me, offer any comfort without giving himself away, but knowing he was close kept me from feeling quite so alone in that ocean of cold, black stone. His presence was a silent reminder that he was a guardian and yet he maintained a secret life that was a place of love and happiness with a wife and daughter. He had found ways around the council’s orders. He was quietly helping the runaways. Yes, he did horrible things for the Towers, but he also did positive things that were protecting lives—namely mine.

If I agreed to serve the council, I could help people like Gideon. I could do more than I was able to do now. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to face myself at the end of the day. Sadly, as I sat there staring at the shine on Gideon’s shoes, I knew I had already decided. I was sick with the thought, but the truth was that I was desperate to live.

When I spoke, the words were so ragged they sounded as if they had been torn from my chest. “If I accept, will I be reinstated to the full privileges of a Tower member?”

The silence stretched but I didn’t look up. They were discussing my question among themselves. My question covered a multitude of sins, but my main concern was being permitted to use all forms of magic again, and they knew it.

The witch’s voice washed over me, sounding less harsh than it had been earlier. “Not yet. This will be on a trial basis. If you prove yourself diligent and trustworthy, we will consider reinstating all your privileges. For now, you may use magic only in self-defense and in relation to a task done in service to the council.”

I frowned. The door wasn’t closed on the topic, but reinstatement to full privileges was looking unlikely. On the other hand, the witch had given me a nice amount of gray area to work in, definitely more breathing room than I had had before.

“Will I retain a warden?”

“Yes.”

“Not Toussaint,” I said sharply, trying to infuse as much anger and hatred into those two words as I could. I lifted my head and glared at the council. “He’s been a knife in my side for nearly a decade and I’ve had enough. His constant abuse and attempts at entrapment have gone against our agreement of live and let live. I want someone else!” By the time I was finished, I was on my feet; I didn’t have to fake the anger.

The “pregnant” warlock lounged in his chair and smiled broadly at me. “It seems Master Toussaint is doing an excellent job, so why should we relieve him of