I knew left me unsettled. Shifting my feet, I yearned to help in some small way. “Would you like to see Reid?” I asked, gesturing toward our apartment door. “You’re welcome to come inside.”
“No. I saw him. I thought I should see you.”
I wrapped my arms around my midsection. “Okay. Why?”
Sparrow’s wide chest inflated and deflated. “I didn’t make an effort—well, I did. I made an effort not to see you when...before.” He shook his head. “I was blinded by what I considered my failure to keep one of my men safe. I either didn’t think about how the loss of Mason affected anyone but me, or if I’m honest, I didn’t care.” Turning a bit, he lifted his hand to behind his neck, his bicep flexing in his rolled-up sleeve. “This time...I thought maybe...this time I should tell you what I didn’t say then.”
Heaviness filled my chest with too many emotions. Hugging myself tighter, I said, “Then was a lifetime ago. This outcome is different.”
“Today could have been another lifetime, and I want you to know something.”
The small hairs on the back of my neck bristled as we stood amongst the stupid furniture that no one ever used. “Okay.”
“You were brought here by Mason. You stayed here because of Reid. That was then...before. And I will fucking kill either of them if they put us through this again—today was bad enough—but if that day ever comes, I want you to know your future is in your own hands. Finances should never be a concern, but if you want to stay here, in your home, here with your family, that decision is not contingent upon either your brother or your husband. This is your home, Lorna. There are no qualifiers on that statement. You may opt to take the first fucking plane out of here and that’s your prerogative.” He took a deep breath. “The possibility of that decision came to me today, and I decided it was important that you never need wonder where you fit in all of this.”
With each blink, another tear joined those now flowing down my cheeks. “I don’t want to consider that day.”
“No one does. Even so, today when I first got word that Reid was down, my second thought was you, followed by what an ass I’d been when it was Mason.”
I shook my head. “Like we’ve said, that was a long time ago.”
The tips of his lips moved upward. “Even so, I’ve been told I’m still capable of displaying that characteristic today.”
My cheeks rose. “No comment from me.” I looked toward our apartment door. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in?”
“I’m sure. I’ll let you two have some time alone.”
“Thank you.” My gratitude was genuine, not only for the invitation and admission of my place within this Sparrow world, but more so for the effort Sterling Sparrow had just made. In the reality of our pecking order, the king of the jungle didn’t owe me anything, and yet he’d made an effort, given me his word, and solidified my position with his promise.
Sparrow nodded.
Turning, I took a step toward the apartment as Sparrow pushed the button beside the elevator. Quickly, I turned back. “What was your first thought?”
“What?”
“You said when you got word that Reid had been shot, your second thought was about me and how things went when Mason...What was your first thought?”
“That I’d fucking burn Englewood to the ground because payback is a bitch.”
“Englewood?”
“Yes.”
The mention of the neighborhood made my stomach twist. “Why Englewood?”
“That was where it happened.”
“Oh, I guess I didn’t know that. Why was Reid in Englewood?”
Why wasn’t he on 2 where he usually stayed?
Sparrow reached for the elevator door, holding it open and keeping the elevator in place. “That’s a discussion that needs to be between you and your husband.” He stepped inside. “Tell him he better not enter 2 until Renita gives him clearance or else.”
A grin bloomed over my lips. “I’ll tell him.”
Instead of turning away, I watched the elevator doors closing, inch by inch, obscuring Sterling Sparrow. It was clear that the mission he’d set out to accomplish was complete as he lifted his chin and inhaled. Stress still showed upon him—the clenching of his jaw, the tightening of his neck, and even in the stiffness of his stance. Perhaps it was because of what happened with Reid or the kidnapping or maybe about his future child. With a man like Sterling Sparrow, rarely did he share those thoughts or worries.