Dating Makes Perfect - Pintip Dunn Page 0,21

the penises!” another voice shrieks. “We won’t have any left!”

A moment later, Bunny picks up the phone. Even through the screen, I can tell it’s her. Her eyes are slightly narrower than Ari’s, her cheekbones a little higher. But it’s the dramatic black eyeliner that gives her away.

“Sorry ’bout that,” she says. “Ari was summoned, even though she was talking to our favorite younger sister. There was a pecker emergency.”

I blink. “A what? Where are you?”

“Oh, one of our sorority sisters is getting married after graduation, and we’re throwing a bachelorette party for her.” Bunny lowers her voice conspiratorially. “Pin the Pecker on Peter was my brilliant contribution. Here, take a look.”

She flips the phone around so that I can see a row of girls wearing cute athletic wear—sports bras and leggings and cropped tops. They’re lined up in front of a life-size cutout of a naked man, and they’re each holding a piece of cardboard that might be shaped like a penis.

I squint. The cutout is a handsome blond with blue eyes. And his nether regions are suspiciously blank.

“Is that a Ken doll?” I ask.

“Yes!” The phone flips back to Bunny. Her wide smile takes up half the screen. “Aliyah drew the line at actually using her fiancé for the cutout. And Ken is oddly appropriate, since he never had a pecker. But now, she’s freaking out because she says the penises are too small.” She shrugs. “I wouldn’t know. But we gotta keep the bride happy, so Ari’s been drafted to draw bigger penises.”

My face flushes hot, then cold. I’m looking into my sister’s laughing eyes, but in the bottom corner of the cell phone screen, there’s a tiny image of my own face. Even shrunken down, I can see the red splotches on my skin.

“Now, what were you saying?” Bunny demands. “You were going to tell us about your date.”

“Oh,” I say awkwardly. “It was nothing.”

All of a sudden, my desire to confide in my sisters has dwindled to the negative integers. I’m scandalized because Mat said we had seen each other naked…while my sisters are preoccupied with penises. Gummy ones, cardboard ones. Penises that may or may not be an accurate representation of the real ones. I don’t think I’ve even thought the word in the last six months. That’s how sheltered I am.

How young, how inexperienced.

Once again, my sisters have raced ahead to their next adventure. And this time, I’m not sure I want to catch up.

“Really, it’s not important, Bunny,” I say. “Go back to your friends.”

“It is important,” she insists, her eyes striking and mysterious with her taped eyelids. She’s so glamorous. Age has nothing to do with it. I wouldn’t be as sophisticated as her if I lived to be 110. “Anything that has to do with you is important to me.”

“I don’t want to interrupt—”

“You’re not interrupting.”

“I just…” I squeeze my eyes shut. I felt so happy when my sisters were home. Like life was returning to the way it was supposed to be. Like I was complete.

Little did I know that the visit home was just a break for the twins. A reprieve before they returned to their real passions, their real friends. Their real lives, of which I’m no longer a part.

“The date didn’t happen,” I blurt. I don’t usually lie—to anyone, least of all my sisters. But if this untruth helps me get through this moment, I won’t regret it. “Mat had car trouble. So his Jeep is in the shop. The date’s postponed to next week.”

“Ah. Too bad,” Bunny says. “I was hoping you could report on whether Mat’s lips are as pillowy soft as they look.”

I snort. “Clearly, planning this bachelorette party is turning your brain to mush. Because I’m never going to be able to answer that question.”

“Never say never.” She sweeps up a red gummy and bites off its head. “What about the tour with the new guy? Was he just as cute today?”

“Didn’t happen, either.” This time, I don’t even falter. I suppose, once you start fibbing, each additional lie becomes easier to tell. “He overslept.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Winnie,” she says. “I know you were really excited to spend more time with him.”

“Guess I’ll just have to be excited about your pecker project,” I say cheerfully.

I keep up the optimistic act through the next several minutes, during which Bunny is asked to weigh in on not just one but two potential sizes of cardboard penises. My sister, the Pecker Inspector. Who knew?

I’m so