heart beat faster like the turncoat it was around this forbidden man. His hand journeyed to my neck, then toward my breast. Before his fingers could reach their destination, I caught his wrist in my hand. Tanner’s tortured gaze collided with mine. The hunger I saw there, more heightened and intense than before, was my undoing. “Tonight,” I whispered, my voice shaking at the fact that I was stupidly going to allow this again. “All we have is tonight, in this room. Tomorrow you’ll be gone, and when our paths cross again they will be for business only. That should give you enough time to forget you ever betrayed your race for one night with me.” The truth of the words stung.
Tanner must have seen a crack in my armor, as his eyes narrowed. I wondered what he would say in defense. Instead, like the fortress he was, he nodded his head and said, “Done.”
Tanner’s wrist in my hand hung suspended in the air. I should have stopped it. I told myself it was degrading to give myself to such a man. But then I told myself that it was good that I had—Tanner would never forgive himself for this perceived act of weakness. I would be a chink in the Klan knight’s armor. One he could never repair. It gave me a sick kind of pleasure to know that I, a Mexican woman, had weakened him enough to abandon his beliefs and take me. That once hadn’t been enough.
But the truth was . . . I wanted him. Titles and families aside. Right now, I wanted this man. I couldn’t explain the madness of that truth, but it was the truth nonetheless. Exhaling, decision made, I lowered his hand to my breast. Tanner released a quick breath as he covered my flesh, the simple feel of it almost breaking me apart. Tanner glanced up at me for a second, then brought his lips to mine. Like before, they were desperate, as if he was more than aware, just as I was, that our time was finite. And he took me. He took me over and over again through the night, until we were retrieved the next day and the Ayerses left for America.
Tanner Ayers fucked me knowing exactly what that night was—the only night a white prince and cartel princess could have each other. No race, no culture, no hate, no business. Just two bodies, joining as one. But then it was over. And he was gone . . . until two months later, when he returned . . .
*****
Present day . . .
“Lita?”
I blinked, my attention snapping away from the mirror. My hands were joined at my stomach just to stop them from shaking. Hearing Charley’s voice, I took in a deep breath and blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of that first night with Tanner. The night that changed it all. “Lita?” Charley said again. This time it was softer. The concern was clear in her voice.
Turning, I tried to smile at my best friend, but I could see she saw through the cracks. She took my hands and guided me off the pedestal that Carmen had set up before the mirror. The train of the dress followed behind me. Charley sat on my couch. I sat down too and wiped my tears. “I’m being pathetic,” I said and laughed. “I have no idea what is wrong with me.”
“It’s me, Lita. You don’t have to be Adela Quintana right now. I know you. You can cry because you’re apprehensive. You don’t have to be the hardened princesa around me.”
I stared at Charley. I wanted to tell her everything. Get it all off my chest to someone other than Luis, who I felt had, in a way, turned against me. At least, he thought it was unwise to still hold on to hope for Tanner and me. But I couldn’t stop. No matter if all was lost, I would never give up on us. Even though all hope was gone.
I straightened my spine. “It’s just nerves.”
Charley rubbed my hands. She was kind like that, but very like me in the way she wanted more for herself than to be some man’s showpiece. In our world there weren’t many women like that. She was going to be my bridesmaid. My only one.
Charley pointed at my dress. “And should you be wearing that now? You get married tomorrow.