Beau reached out to give me his toy car. As I took it, Mrs. Murray said, “Did you like that boy, Tanner?”
“Yeah, he was nice,” I said, then gave Beau back his car. Mrs. Murray was watching me in the car’s mirror. My stomach flipped over. She looked angry. “He told me his papa is a doctor. They’ve come from Mexico. His papa got a job at the hospital downtown.”
Mrs. Murray didn’t say anything to me after that. So I played with Beau until we got home. I climbed out of the car and went inside. I sat at the table, had my snack and did my homework. Mrs. Murray disappeared for a bit, but then came back when I was done. “Go change, Tanner, then stay in your room. Your father will be coming over tonight when it’s dark.”
“He will?” Excitement built in my chest. I hadn’t seen Papa in a long time. He worked away. And he was a secret me and Beau had to keep to ourselves. We had to keep quiet about who he was to us. To keep us safe from bad people who wouldn’t like us. Even at school I had to pretend I didn’t know him. People at school thought my name was Tanner Williams. But I was really an Ayers.
Just like my papa.
I went upstairs to my room and changed. As I did, I noticed there was a book on my bed. There was a boy on the front. He had dark hair and dark eyes like Rafael. But his clothes were all torn and dirty. Rafael’s clothes hadn’t looked like that. He’d looked just like the rest of us.
I dropped the book when the door to my bedroom opened and my papa stepped through. I smiled and ran to him. But his hands came out to my chest and stopped me. It hurt and I rubbed my chest. I looked up at him. Papa walked around me and sat on a chair. I didn’t like the way he glared at me. It scared me. My papa could be real scary at times. I never liked to disappoint him or make him angry. He would use his fists on me if I did.
It hurt so much.
“Papa?”
“Mrs. Murray told me you made a new friend today.” I nodded. “She said that he was from Mexico.”
“Yes, sir.”
Papa got to his feet, then he came toward me. I stood still, not daring to move. My hands started shaking at my sides. My legs felt like jelly, and there was a funny feeling in my stomach, like a million butterflies were flying around.
Suddenly, Papa’s fist hit my cheek. I cried out as I fell to the floor. I looked up, but Papa only hit me again. I tried to get away, but Papa held on to my shirt and kicked me in my stomach until I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see as tears fell from my eyes. I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand why Papa was hurting me again. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong.
He kicked me and kicked me, until I couldn’t move. I stopped crying. Then Papa stopped kicking me.
“Get up.”
I sniffed and tried to move, but it hurt too much. My hand was over my face. I felt something wet under my fingers. I managed to move my hand back slightly so I could see. My fingertips were red with blood.
“I said get up, boy!” Papa picked me up and made me stand. I curled forward when the pain in my stomach hurt too much. Papa’s hand grabbed my hair and he forced my head up. He moved in close, then said in my ear, “You ever speak to another dirty fucking spic again and I’ll kill you, boy. You’re white. You’re the future White Prince, and I won’t have you associating with anyone who is beneath you. Beneath us.” He pushed me back, and I slumped to the floor. “I don’t know who let him into that school, but they’ll fucking pay for it. We don’t tolerate anything less than perfection in that school. We, the good Christian white parents, don’t pay a fucking fortune to have them let in polluted blood, giving you children bullshit ideas about equality.” He wiped his hand on my school blazer, right over the school patch. “You’re my son, Tanner. I love you. But you’re an Ayers. And it’s about time you knew who we are . . . what you were born to be.