The Darkness Before the Dawn - By Ryan Hughes Page 0,35
are going to get sunburned, Kayan sent.
I know, Jedra responded. His pack covered some of the rips the cactus had made in his robe, but not all of them. Shouldn’t you turn your robe around or something? They were walking on much rockier ground now, the sand underfoot littered with pebbles and stones. Occasional reddish-yellow boulders dotted the landscape as well. Jedra paused beside one such boulder, letting his danger sense tell him if anything was hiding behind it, and when he was sure it was safe he relaxed a bit and said, I suppose I should.
He took off his pack and dropped it to the ground, handed Kayan the spear, then pulled his arms through his sleeves and twisted the robe around. When he stuck his arms out again the cloth felt tight across his neck, but most of the holes the cactus had ripped in it were in front. He put his pack on and took back the spear, then started walking again.
Jedra, Kayan sent.
What?
Couldn’t we at least rest for a minute?
Rest. That sounded good. Trouble was, in his depression, would he ever start out again?
He would have to find out sometime. All right, he said, turning around and walking back to the boulder where Kayan still waited.
They sat down in the shade and each took a drink from Kayan’s waterskin. Her honeycakes beckoned from within her pack, but neither she nor Jedra took one. They would eat during the hottest part of the day, when they stopped for shelter from the sun.
After a minute or so of awkward silence, Kayan said aloud, “Jedra, I’m sorry I said all those things. I was just frustrated and tired. I don’t really think that about you.” “You can’t lie in a mindlink,” Jedra said.
You can too, Kayan sent. She laughed, and when Jedra looked puzzled she said, “Think about it.”
He tried to work out the logic of it, and finally he admitted, “All right, maybe you can. But you still said it. You wanted it to be true.” “I didn’t either. I wanted to hurt you.” He looked at her as if she’d just said she planned to stab him in the back. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“Of course it is,” she said. She shook her head to flip her hair back out of her eyes. “Look, we were mad at each other. When you’re mad, you say things to hurt each other. You don’t necessarily mean them.”
“Oh,” Jedra said. He looked at her again, really looked at her for the first time that day. She certainly seemed sincere, with her green eyes open wide and her round face full of concern. Jedra felt himself relax a little. “I supposed that’s another thing I don’t know much about,” he said.
“What, fighting?”
“Yeah.” He looked away again, out over the desert. “The whole world seems to thrive on it, but I’ve never understood why. What good does it do? People hurt each other all the time, usually for the stupidest reasons. They kill each other because of an insult, or sometimes just for something to do. Some people are always looking for fights.”
“Like Sahalik,” Kayan said.
“Yeah, like Sahalik.” Jedra looked back at her. “I don’t know. Maybe you didn’t have anything to do with that. I’m a half-elf; he probably would have found an excuse to challenge me even if you’d been nicer to him.”
“Maybe.” Kayan shrugged. “I guess I could have tried anyway.”
Jedra wondered how they’d suddenly wound up on the opposite sides of the conversation, but decided not to dig too deeply into it. It might be better to leave things as they stood. “Whatever, the point is I hate fighting. It never solves anything. It just hurts everyone involved.”
“You’re a pacifist,” said Kayan, true wonder in her voice. “That’s incredible.”
“Why?”
“Because of where you come from. Most people who grow up on the streets just take it as given that they have to fight for survival. For someone like you to figure out that there might be a better way, well, that’s pretty unusual.”
Jedra wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not, but he decided to take it as one. “Thanks,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” she said. She blushed, then leaned closer to him. “I’m sorry I got you mad. Kiss and make up?”
He wasn’t sure if he had gotten completely over his anger yet, but he suddenly realized he was going to have to practice what he’d just preached. He supposed it could have been worse, though.