to feel safe and protected more. I’d never do anything to frighten you, but I worry that I’ll do it unintentionally. I can’t stand the thought of screwing up and hurting you.”
His face twisted in pain, and her heart surged, fluttering so wildly she had a hard time catching her breath.
“Ethan.”
It was all she could say. Her throat ached.
She rose up on tiptoe and kissed him. Hard, with all the passion she’d been afraid to show. It bubbled out, rising sharply until she thought she might well explode.
There was no finesse, certainly none of the skill of a practiced seduction. Her hands stabbed clumsily at his face and finally ended up clasped around his neck, her fingers toying with the short hairs at his nape.
When her starved lungs demanded she pull away, they were both gasping and pulling in big mouthfuls of air.
“You won’t hurt me, Ethan. I do feel safe with you. I knew the moment you showed up in my hut that I was saved. I dreamed of you. You were all I remembered of my life before. I held on to you when everything else fell away.”
He lowered his head until his forehead rested against hers. Their lips were so close that she could feel each of his breaths.
“I’m just sorry I wasn’t there sooner,” he said painfully.
She smiled and tilted her chin just enough that her lips brushed his again.
“You came. That’s all that matters.”
He sighed and pulled away. “Are you sure you want to go to Mom’s? I can always cancel.”
She shook her head. “No, she’s been planning this for days. I don’t want to disappoint her. Nathan and Joe are home for the night, and she seemed so thrilled to have everyone together at the same time. I gather this is somewhat of an unusual occurrence.”
He grinned. “Apart from Christmas, and even then it’s not always possible, it is hard to get everyone together. We’ve all served in the military, and all getting leave at the same time is pretty much impossible. It got a little easier when Sam and Garrett formed KGI. That only left Nathan and Joe enlisted.”
“Maybe we can all be together this Christmas,” she said. And she realized she really looked forward to Christmas trees, holiday music and big family get-togethers. The idea filled her with such longing that she knew it was something she must have loved.
With reluctance she turned back to check her hair again. There wasn’t much to do for it given its length, but she’d used a curling iron to give a little lift to the ends and it looked an intentional style now instead of the butcher job done to it by her captors.
“You look beautiful,” Ethan said.
She smiled brilliantly at him. “You always know what to say and when to say it. I admit I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I’ve only to look at pictures to see that my hair used to be much longer and that I’m much thinner now than I was.”
“Your hair will grow, and if Mom has her way, you’ll gain your weight back in no time.”
She had to chuckle at that. Marlene did take her role seriously in that regard. Not a day had gone by that she hadn’t sent someone over with food or just demanded Rachel and Ethan’s presence for meals at her house.
“Okay, let’s go before I lose all nerve.”
Ethan took her hand and squeezed. “You’re going to do great.”
THE party was a real drag, but then she hadn’t expected the Kellys to bust out with a real party. Rusty sat in the corner and observed the goings-on with ill-suppressed boredom.
What they needed was some good music and decent alcohol, not the pussy light beer some of the men were drinking. She’d give her right arm for a cigarette right now. She’d given serious consideration to sneaking a pack, but Marlene would have a cow if she found out, and despite how hung up she was on the rules, Rusty liked her. And she didn’t want to mess up the first decent home she’d had.
So she sat there like a good girl, with her good-girl clothes and her good-girl haircut.
“Are you one of the family members?”
She whirled and scowled at the man who’d snuck up on her.
“What’s it to you?”
He lifted an eyebrow and amusement brightened his eyes. “Just wanted to ask a few questions about Rachel’s homecoming, but I wanted to ask a direct family member.”