to fight for someone or something, especially not for a ‘relationship’ that was only physical.
Except I thought there were subs who would at least try to fight if they felt more about me. I suspected Rafael would. When I finally told him that we needed to go our separate ways, I didn’t think he’d simply walk away without a word. He wouldn’t do anything stupid, but I liked to think he wouldn’t just leave.
I supposed that I’d made another assumption about Bradyn. I’d thought that because he wanted more than just fucking, he wouldn’t simply walk away. I thought he’d meant what he said in the barn the day after I told him about what Art had done to me.
I don’t just want to fuck you. I want to be with you beyond that.
I supposed I should have known that’d come with conditions. Rules about how I had to behave to fit into his world. I’d apologized, but I hadn’t completely submitted to him and told him everything he wanted to know. If I couldn’t give him what he wanted, what was the point of further conversation, right?
It didn’t matter.
I had a job to do, and that was why I’d come back. I wasn’t here to hurt the Huxleys. I was here to help them, and it only mattered that they believed me.
The first step in the right direction was something I would’ve needed to do, anyway. There was someone else I had to apologize to for my behavior last night. Hopefully, Isaac would be more gracious about it than Bradyn had been. Based on what I knew of Shadae and Brew’s son, I thought he would be.
Hell, he and I could end up being friends by the time all this was over.
I wouldn’t date him. After the crash and burn with Bradyn, I was giving up on having any sort of ‘normal’ relationship for good. I wouldn’t put myself through that. But a friend? Yeah, I could like having Isaac as a friend.
Seven
Nyx
I took a slow breath, and then another. My confrontation with Bradyn hadn’t been fun, and I hadn’t really enjoyed apologizing to Isaac – though he had been nicer than Bradyn – but neither of those conversations made me half as nervous as I was right now, standing at the back door to the house, waiting to talk to Shadae and Brew.
At least bringing back the picnic basket meant I had something in my hands during the walk, and that helped with some of the anxiety.
I knocked on the door and then opened it, as if nothing had changed from the last time I was here.
“Shadae?”
“There you are, sugar.” Shadae stepped into the kitchen with a basket of vegetables. I couldn’t really tell what kind, but I had no doubt whatever she did with them would be delicious when she was done with it. “I was wonderin’ when you’d be up and about.”
“Thank you for the food.” I put the basket on the counter I’d last seen it on. “And for the hangover drink.”
She winked at me. “Brew and I shut down a bar or two in our time.”
I laughed, but it was a weak sound. I was too anxious about telling them everything. Maybe it was because I still had Bradyn’s remarks about my lying about why I was here. That wasn’t what I’d done, not intentionally anyway. But would they believe me? Would they hate me the way Bradyn did?
“You look like you’ve got somethin’ on your mind,” Shadae said as she set her basket of vegetables in the sink.
“I do. Is Brew around?”
“He’s on the front porch. We spend most nice Sunday afternoons out there.” She came over to me and put her hand on my arm. She looked more concerned than my own mother had ever been about me.
Well, maybe not ever. Up until she met Art, she’d been a decent mom. At least, I couldn’t remember her doing anything particularly awful. Most of my pre-Art memories with her in them had both of my parents. My sister had always been closer to our mother.
“Come on, sugar. Join us on the porch and unburden yourself.”
I let her lead me out front and put me in one of those sliding chairs that always looked like more fun than they actually were, and then she settled next to her husband. Neither of them rushed me, which I appreciated, but them not asking me what was going on meant I had to be the one to